I Have Denied You

I can admit that I’ve denied You

No matter what I’ve tried to say

Even saying Your Name a thousand times

I deny you every day

I don’t do it on the surface

How I do it is undercover

Every time I refuse to love my neighbor

As if they were a sister or a brother

When I close my heart to a stranger

Who may be an angel unaware

I deny that You are The Presence

By pretending You’re not there

I tell myself I’m behind You

That I’m following in Your steps

But the reality is if I don’t give You all

Any credit I receive is theft

I don’t want to be a liar

But I am every time I speak

When I act as if I’m special

Or that my struggle’s are unique

From the least up to the greatest

The categories that we impose

Are just as false as separation

The lie out of which they all arose

It’s one of the things that keeps me distant

Whenever I make it real

Saying, “I feel like I can’t relate to You

Because You don’t know how I feel.”

But in truth You’re right here with me

In everything I do

And suddenly it becomes so very clear

I deny me when denying You

For in relationship I was formed

In communion I was conceived

You accepted me for who I would become

Even before I first believed

That’s why You can’t make me doubt You

I do that on my own

As soon as I open my mouth to say,

“I feel like I’m alone.”

For that has never been my reality

Nor has it been for any person

Endings begin with this very first sin

And from there they begin to worsen

“If I’m alone then no one loves me”

“If I’m alone I can’t cause pain”

But humans aren’t meant to be alone

So the very thought makes us insane

That’s why we’re constantly seeking approval

Causing drama to feel connected

Chasing our tails to personal hells

Because we can’t accept that we’re accepted

I’m sure we don’t want to do this

But we find it hard to fight this

I’m thinking about You at this very moment

And yet I deny You as I write this

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

 

 

 

Everything and Then Some

When someone asks you to prove your love,

You better prepare to die

Anything less is just holding back

In this beholder’s eye

Though they do not think they’re worthy

They want you to make them feel they are

But no matter how much you offer them

They won’t believe it without your scars

They want to see you bleed

They want you to give it all away

How much your heart has love for them

Is the last thing they demand you say

Your last words should be a testament

To how much they mean to you

But they’ll find a reason to doubt it

No matter what you do

On them the sun should rise

On them the sun should set

Give yourself to anything else

And their whole world will be upset

Even if it’s your own children

Or your faith in your religion

Any focus that is not on them

In their minds will cause division

They will say it’s because they love you

But this can’t be further from the truth

Because if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from love

Is that it never asks for proof

It gives with no thought of getting

It’s sole hope is that we receive

And even after we’ve denied it thrice

We find Love is the One who grieves

Abandoned and abused

Love still keeps us in its prayers

Compelling us to fulfillment

While we are focused on other cares

Love is so relentless

That it will even refuse to die

Coming back to bless its murderers

Despite this fact we still deny

Love forgives us before we seek it

Keeps its promises while we’re debating

And when we arrive in the hells that we create

We find Love is right there waiting

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

Life Without Hunger

My body has just revealed the news

I’m not the only one who’s ever me

Others will walk in these tattered shoes

And see what I can see

Perhaps you’ll be attending

The event we call this person

And I’ll attend from the other side

Our situations now reversing

You will see I cannot be lonely

So far this has kept me away from you

Since the fear you have of abandonment

Has been guiding what you do

I also cannot be thirsty

And this will change the way you think

When realizing all that’s been cut too short

Every time you pause to take a drink

Plus you’ve been taught you die from hunger

It’s just their ploy to keep you filled

What I’ve found is that by running on empty,

The truth of who we are cannot be killed

At first this thought is frightening

But you cannot figure why

I say it’s because to you death is release

You have parts you want to die

Now you feel that death’s deceiving

You’re still you after it’s all over

Death’s not the escape you thought it was

You still have yourself to shoulder

It’s the cross you have to bear

Until you accept what we’re trying to tell you

Be an empty vessel or lose yourself

The very lesson of the deluge

In the midst of being nothing

You get the chance to see it all

Becoming everyone who ever was

Until you never had to fall

Then we’re standing face to face

You know the secret that can’t be told

Minus hunger we all are One

Emptied fullness reveals the soul

It’s the Life that has no hunger

Desiring nothing you are complete

Every step you take is a victory

No more suffering of defeat

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

No Such Things As Endings

There are no such things as endings

There are only transformations

Ascending or descending out of view

As we enter new vibrations

If one’s in peak and one’s in trough

We may experience disappearing

But Presence remains for the One in joy

Absence only to the one who’s fearing

From the Highest Heights eternity is…

Encompassing all dimensions

From the lowest low all one can see

Is line of sight from their descension

From this point of view we see a world

Where we define things by their borders

But from what I’ve heard from other worlds

We are living out of order

For a man once told me after death

That he was still alive

And that he could see what I could see

Without the use of carnal eyes

He pointed out that I could dream

Seeing things while eyes are closed

So it shouldn’t be too hard to see

That eyes are not where sight arose

Breathing without nostrils

While walking without legs

He taught form is never who we are

Despite what attachment to it begs

We enter into being

Through a door always ajar

Expressing the lesser part of us

The greater projected from afar

The comings and the goings

Emerge from a place that’s always still

Including the death that many fear

But the truly living never will

This revelation did not amaze me

I got the sense I always knew it

That I was playing as if I didn’t know

Till body and soul became congruent

Now that the hour is upon me

I cannot maintain the lie

There are no such things as endings

I cannot treat you like you die

And it’s not just who we call the living

All things that are will ever be

Conceived in eternal consciousness

That extends beyond what eyes can see

But it is not beyond the knowing

If we surrender to human limits

Receiving the Life that has always been

With eternity embedded in it

This is the truest Destiny

Living life as it unfolds

And folds and then unfolds again

The entire story never told

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

This Side of the Resurrection

This body that you see 

Is merely an appearance

My truest body is doing work

While this one is running interference

In reality you can’t see me

Despite the fact that you think you do

But what you see is just a shadow

That somehow the Light is shining through

Yes, I know that is impossible

According to the laws that you call physics

But our laws are just a theory

To the One in Whom Light’s intrinsic

To the One there is no darkness

They simply turn it inside out

So that the vibrations become reflective

What was within now shines without

It’s something like electric

But with the absence of the static

Transforming so very instantly

That it’s faster than automatic

As it was in the Beginning

Has nothing on what’s eternal

The Being before existence

This Fire consumes before it burns you

All the dross that’s left behind

Is everything we were attached to

Revealing on the other side

That the lies could not dispatch you

Playing the hostage to a lie

We live lives that are not our own

Putting our principle interest

On a body that in truth is just a loan

This is not the true intention

Of assuming this expression

The goal is to know as we are known

Through the releasing of our regression

Going backward to take us forward

To lead us to where we never left

Is the path of least persistence

In the realm where there is no death

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

 

Unlimited Power

Look at the tip of your finger

What is it that you see?

That which appears to be absent

Is exactly what holds the key

All that is in the visible

Has the unseen as its Source

The finest formless substance

Passing through into the coarse

Even though you cannot see it

The world is at your finger tips

Every possible frequency in a single point

All that ever will exist

Every movement bound in stillness

Until someone calls into the temporal

Instantly the command starts taking shape

It really is that simple

It all is living within us

What we hope for and what we fear.

We’re just chasing what we’re projecting

And that’s what brought us to the so called “here”

We were given unlimited power

To create anything in an instance

But for reasons that I’ll now explain,

All we chose to make was distance

Like a child who wants attention

We rebelled for our own space

While hoping that before we got too far

The Creator would give us chase

But the Creator just kept creating

Busy keeping everything in tune

So we decided to run as far as we could go

But to the Creator we’re in the room

You see, Omnipresence is inconvenient

If one wants to get away

Because as soon as you arrive at “somewhere else”

You realize you are where you always stayed

Some of us have accepted this

We no longer try to run

And we no longer chase our siblings

Instead we shine with the Present Son

That doesn’t mean that we’re not struggling

Perhaps we’re struggling even more

Because now we are completely powerless

That’s what we know we need Him for

We had exhausted every possibility

To create ourselves in our own image

Until we had nothing left in us to fight

And we thought that we were finished

Like a branch cut off from the Vine

We eventually began to wither

We could not be a Source unto ourselves

So to live we called the Giver

Instantly the Giver gave

But we took our time in our receiving

We had put so much into making our own space

That we were out of practice with believing

We needed an example

To remind us what to do

To humble ourselves accordingly

So the Power can come through

So the Son who lives eternally

Entered the dream of days and hours

So we can see Him though He’s invisible

That’s how He connects us to our Power

The more that we surrender

The clearer it is to see

That the Spirit has never left us

No matter how much we’ve tried to flee

That’s the Way of this Wondrous Power

It can be rejected but not denied

Capable of bringing back to Life

Even those of us who died

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

The Inauthentic self

The Authentic One has no self

There never is an “I”

Knowing there’s no such thing as Death

One never owns this lie

All One ever knows is Being

In fact One is the only Beer

The Source of every vision born of Truth

One can be the only Seer

The “I” that isn’t blind

Sees not what is before it

Dividing what’s One into separate selves

And then trying to restore it

It’s the oldest trick in the book of ego

Designed to make the “I” the savior

By creating dangers that do not exist

In an effort to control behavior

In an effort to be special

In an effort to be the best

In an effort to succeed no matter what the costs

And to rise above the rest

But take away the effort

And here is what you’ll find

All the doings that we thought were done

Do not exist outside the mind

I don’t know a way to tell you this

Without it sounding like a threat

To all that we’ve accomplished

Or the things we haven’t finished yet

But on the other side of what we think we do

There are worlds coming into being

Some of which are binding us

Others forever freeing

It’s a paradox of paradox

Quite impossible to prove it

Founded on the Yeshua principle

Those who gain their lives will lose it

I know that this sounds crazy

But here is something crazier still

Everything that’s keeping you from You

Isn’t even real

I know that you can feel this

You can sense that it’s the Truth

Because within you is the Godhead

So that there is no excuse

But this is something we’re denying

And there’s just a single reason why

If we accept the Truth of who we are

We can no longer be the “I”

And suddenly there’s no “them”

We’s the only life that’s True

Making all of “them” as innocent

As you are for what you do

Holy freakin’ moly

This kind of thinking will blow your mind

Until you no longer have one

That can operate in time

Then that’s when you will see It

From the eternal point of view

That the Mind of Christ that lives in Yesh

Is the only Mind of the Authentic You

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

Yes Today

When our minds are not on the day we’re in

We can’t be fully participating

What serves us best is living Now

And on the Present concentrating

But this is easier said than done

When we’re obsessed with our statistics

More than half the time we’re somewhere else

Our minds making past and future visits

Using the past as a frame of reference

It’s not strange to hear people say,

“Based on what happened in the past,

I think tomorrow will be like today.”

It’s called pattern recognition

And it truly can serve us well

But if we don’t like what it is we’rere seeing

It can also keep us in our hell

Just imagine if you are someone

Who’s had your fair share of rejection

Eventually just to avoid hearing “no”

You might go into self protection

You’ll start relying on the past

Just to find some kind of order

Forfeiting the possibility

That there’s a higher “yes” just around the corner

And that “yes” could come today

But we would never know

If based on what happened yesterday

We let this other option go

I know that I have done it

Despite my best intentions

So I can tell you from my experience

About this pattern that I’ve mentioned

But what’s worse than this is the pseudo “yes”

That we got because it was forced

The good appearance that isn’t Good

That actually throws us off our course

Some call it being successful

But it’s a “yes” that’s not matured

A bitter fruit that’s not quite ripe

Creating a sickness that must be cured

If you’ve ever had that feeling

You know the “yes” I’m talking about

Where on the outside we are celebrating

But on the inside we have our doubts

This becomes a different type of pattern

From which it is even harder to get away

It’s the one where everything we do

Is shaped by what other people say

They say, “You should be happy.”

“Getting the ‘yes’ is all that matters.”

“If I were you, I’d dot dot dot.”

All the while our mind just chatters

“Maybe I shoulda coulda…”

“Maybe that way was the thing.”

Until the little joy we had is gone

And all we’re left with is the sting

“Forget about tomorrow.”

“I’m going to lose my mind today.”

“I know that what I’m doing’s wrong,

But I can’t see another way.”

That’s when we start justifying

After that here comes the blame

And when both of those start failing us

We finally resort to shame

“That’s not the way it was supposed to go.”

Have you ever said that before?

Well if this pattern keeps going the way it is

Believe me, we’re going to be saying it more

You see, the only way to break it

Is by first admitting that we do it

Then start backing off from all assumptions

Until we see we’re getting through it

We’ll know we’re on our way

When can say that we don’t get it

And when things don’t go according to plan

We can step back and just let it

This does not mean becoming a pushover

In the face of defined opponents

It simply means to be in today

So we’ll have power for the moment

For the “Yes” today that is fully formed

Is the one we know that God completed

While the yeses that we have made up ourselves

Are those waiting to be defeated

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S Silva II

 

The Mirror In the Man

I talked to the Man in the Mirror

Who led me to the Mirror in the Man

The thoughts that I reflect upon

That shape how I understand

He told me that to know him

I first had to let him be

To go back to his original state

Untethered and wholly free

Before he was a father

Before he was a son

Before he was just a survival tool

That state where he is One

His suggestion threatened my ego

I feared I would not exist

Without my mind to remind me of who I was

How could my ideas of me persist?

But he told me that all my big ideas

Led me further from the Truth

They were just stories I told myself

So that my so called life had proof

He said the Man in the Mirror

Is not really my reflection

That I was focusing all my power

On a mere ego projection

My mind shining through a filter

That casted only a shadow of myself

That I then looked at Creation through

Seeing shadows everywhere else

This was really hard to swallow

How could this really be?

How can I know who I really am

If my body isn’t me?

And what of other bodies?

If they’re not people, who are they?

And if I try to tell them this,

What will these other bodies say?

Maybe what they’re supposed to,

To ensure that they survive.

But if that is all that we can do

What is it that makes us come alive?

If we are not all these categories

And boxes people check

Are we really anything at all,

When further we reflect?

That’s really a scary thought

But one we have to entertain

If we ever are to know ourselves

As more than programs in our brain

In fact, the fear we feel around this

Is just another survival tool

Because the brain’s designed to not admit

When its programming has been fooled

Try it if you doubt it

Just try thinking something new

Say something that you don’t believe

And see what your brain will do

Synapses will start firing

Doing pattern reconstruction

Telling you what you already “know”

Just like the brain is supposed to function

It’s not easy to resist this

Even when higher knowledge has been revealed

We cannot do what we want to do

As long as the former pattern’s sealed

When I heard this, I couldn’t deny it

I had experienced the same

My brain was making all the rules

When I thought I controlled the game

This thought was so frustrating

The cognitive dissonance started hurting

Trying to hold these opposing thoughts

Was severely disconcerting

That’s when I remembered

Something in the Bible that I read

“Greater is He that’s in you.”

So I listened to “Him” instead

The “me” that is in the world

Started running out of time

As I began my transformation

Through the renewal of my mind

Paul said to die daily

Renewing body, mind, and all

Living from our heavenly body

That is aligned with our mind’s true call

But to do this we must surrender

We lose our lives when we try to save it

So the only Way to truly live

Is to return our lives to the One who gave it

This is the Mind that is in Christ

The Mind begotten but never born

According to the Original pattern

And not the ones to which the brain’s conformed

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

The Truth is “I Don’t Know”

I’ve been told that I am lucky

I’m not sure if that is true

It seems that what I’ve received in life

Has been a result of what I do

Some people call it karma

Some say I’m reaping what I sow

Perhaps they are the exact same thing

But the truth is “I don’t know.”

I mean the Truth is “I don’t know”

I’m saying, not knowing is my thing

I go into the world planting seeds

But it’s up to God what it will bring

I can’t bother with calculations

Since I cannot do God’s math

There are just too many factors

For me to figure out the Path

Of course I make some guesses

What else am I supposed to do?

I can try to make it all make sense

But only God knows what is True

I’m blessed that I get clues

To let me know I’m on the Way

But just because I was before

Doesn’t mean I am today

That’s what my mind starts saying

When it gets real hard to see

But I just took my mind off God

Because there’s really nowhere else to be

Every time that I remember this

Everything will go my way

Because the only will I want is God’s

And it’s for this only that I pray

Then in faith I must surrender

Everything I thought I knew

Then step out with only my trust in God

And see what “She” will do

The Truth is “I don’t know”

It’s with this fact that I must live

Though I may not know what the outcome is

I must stay mindful of what I give

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II