Fulfillment – It's All In Me

Embracing Nothing

April 17, 2024April 18, 2024 Higher Up IDEALLeave a comment

I just want to be defeated
And no longer have a care
Let this last battle have me
And sink into despair
Raise the white flag
Settle into the abyss
Deleted from the world’s memory
So that I won’t even be missed
Get absorbed into the Void
Go from I was to now I wasn’t
Undo whatever it seems I’ve ever done
So that what I do becomes a doesn’t
Utterly erased
Even from anyone’s imagination
An unmanifest impossibility
Not even a consideration
I don’t want heaven and don’t want hell
Nor any concept in between
No good or bad illusions
Nor awakening in the dream
I only want to be empty
Completely uncontained
I’ve given everything I have
I just want to rest in being drained
But this doesn’t mean I’m giving up
I’m just finally seeing clearly
To be who only I can be
I cannot let earthly desires near me
They function how they’re supposed to
They promise what they cannot give
So wanting anything in this life
Never shows us how to live
It is only in wanting nothing
That I can receive everything and more
It’s only in surrendering everything I thought I had
That I can be what I came here for

The Truths Cannot Die

September 26, 2016September 26, 2016 Higher Up IDEALLeave a comment

The next time that you kill us
Remember we never really die
Suppressing us won’t free you
Because Truth can’t sustain a lie

I know our presence scares you
We make you feel unsure
Nothing can quite prepare you
For seeing your prejudice impure

You’ve been taught we’re inconvenient
You try to hide us from your view
But locking us up doesn’t keep us out
Since you can’t get away from you

Your history of violence
Towards those who look like me
Has left so many people silent
That we barely know how to be

You say that we are valued
And yet you try to hide the Truth
But there’s no escaping what’s evident
We are the living proof

But where does this knowledge leave us
For too many it ushers shame
The one thing no one wants to feel
Because we can’t escape the pain

See that’s not what we’re seeking
What we want to share is hope
But in our face you see a mirror
And hang the image from a rope

Your guilt too, is not of value
It’s just denial in different dress
Which leads to justification
Which fosters anger and unrest

So what is the solution?
Where do we go from here?
How can we live by a better Way,
When we hold on to our fear?

The answer is we cannot
We have to let love win
Or die in the darkness that we choose
And then do it all again

Fighting Over Crumbs

September 19, 2016 Higher Up IDEAL4 Comments

All things to All things
Nothing is denied
But we’re fighting over bread crumbs
Because someone believed a lie

So now we kill each other
In our constant pursuit of more
We believe we are “consumers”
Because we don’t know what we’re for

Infinite Creation
Nothing more or less
But instead destruction follows us
When we put us to the test

Addicted to the thought of conquering
Sixty steps till we unlearn
That the truth of life is obvious
When we’re not looking for our turn

In the mean time there’s confusion
We’re told we have to choose a side
Contests between “us” and “them”
Where the winner doesn’t die

But what if someone told you
That everything is yours
And everything is everyone’s
And no one’s keeping score

The House is not divided
Upon the Rock is where it stands
Never to be shaken
By unreasonable demands

But because it can’t be broken
It won’t resist what it is we do
We can lie all the hell we want to
Because all of it’s untrue

Though we deny the Absolute
It simply continues as it is
Fully realized. No need to strive.
For it’s the life that we all Live

It’s the Bread that’s not devoured
Though we eat it to our fill
Diminishing every sense of loss
Like nothing ever will

This Is Not a Poem

June 6, 2015 Higher Up IDEALLeave a comment

This is not a poem

Despite the rhyming and construction

This is what the critic says

Because it doesn’t follow the poem’s function

I have to show you the dilemma

You have to struggle to understand me

You have to encounter the limitations

Of what a “good poem” can and can’t be

Clever lines don’t make it poetry

Despite conveying my intention

Good poetry has to stick to the rules

And be the result of pure invention

Please don’t come with inspiration

Don’t express in your own style

Don’t emerge with your own cadence

March in step and single file

Try to sound like someone famous

Do not always write in rhyme

People cry for peace

Meanwhile they are dropping bombs

Dead men can’t start wars

I just dropped some haiku lines

But maybe that isn’t poetry

I’ll ask an expert. They will know.

Or maybe they just know what poems are not

“Iambic pentameter is the purest flow”

Truthfully it doesn’t matter

If it isn’t poetry, I’d still be writing

I’d just be calling it something else

And in its expression be delighting

Not simply because I wrote it

But because it’s emerging from Creation

Like a flower that offers fragrance

What I give’s my participation

Whether beautiful or ugly

Lyrically strong or suffering weakness

What I bring forth is what I’m called to give

From the Universe’s unlimited uniqueness

For if I don’t shine the light I’m given

I am a thief and what’s more a liar

And claiming that I am not received

Is no excuse for quenching fire

So call it what you will

I will do what I must do

My words may fail, but I won’t hold back

It might not be poetry, but it’s true

Everything and Then Some

May 19, 2015 Higher Up IDEALLeave a comment

When someone asks you to prove your love,

You better prepare to die

Anything less is just holding back

In this beholder’s eye

Though they do not think they’re worthy

They want you to make them feel they are

But no matter how much you offer them

They won’t believe it without your scars

They want to see you bleed

They want you to give it all away

How much your heart has love for them

Is the last thing they demand you say

Your last words should be a testament

To how much they mean to you

But they’ll find a reason to doubt it

No matter what you do

On them the sun should rise

On them the sun should set

Give yourself to anything else

And their whole world will be upset

Even if it’s your own children

Or your faith in your religion

Any focus that is not on them

In their minds will cause division

They will say it’s because they love you

But this can’t be further from the truth

Because if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from love

Is that it never asks for proof

It gives with no thought of getting

It’s sole hope is that we receive

And even after we’ve denied it thrice

We find Love is the One who grieves

Abandoned and abused

Love still keeps us in its prayers

Compelling us to fulfillment

While we are focused on other cares

Love is so relentless

That it will even refuse to die

Coming back to bless its murderers

Despite this fact we still deny

Love forgives us before we seek it

Keeps its promises while we’re debating

And when we arrive in the hells that we create

We find Love is right there waiting

Life Without Hunger

May 17, 2015 Higher Up IDEALLeave a comment

My body has just revealed the news

I’m not the only one who’s ever me

Others will walk in these tattered shoes

And see what I can see

Perhaps you’ll be attending

The event we call this person

And I’ll attend from the other side

Our situations now reversing

You will see I cannot be lonely

So far this has kept me away from you

Since the fear you have of abandonment

Has been guiding what you do

I also cannot be thirsty

And this will change the way you think

When realizing all that’s been cut too short

Every time you pause to take a drink

Plus you’ve been taught you die from hunger

It’s just their ploy to keep you filled

What I’ve found is that by running on empty,

The truth of who we are cannot be killed

At first this thought is frightening

But you cannot figure why

I say it’s because to you death is release

You have parts you want to die

Now you feel that death’s deceiving

You’re still you after it’s all over

Death’s not the escape you thought it was

You still have yourself to shoulder

It’s the cross you have to bear

Until you accept what we’re trying to tell you

Be an empty vessel or lose yourself

The very lesson of the deluge

In the midst of being nothing

You get the chance to see it all

Becoming everyone who ever was

Until you never had to fall

Then we’re standing face to face

You know the secret that can’t be told

Minus hunger we all are One

Emptied fullness reveals the soul

It’s the Life that has no hunger

Desiring nothing you are complete

Every step you take is a victory

No more suffering of defeat

What Is Your Name?

May 9, 2015 Higher Up IDEALLeave a comment

The day we were born we were given a name

That may not be our own

A signal for people to get our attention

And pull us out of the zone

In time the name’s defining

When people hear it they think of you

Attaching thoughts and judgments

Regardless of if they’re true

Sometimes this is in our favor

Other times it takes us down

The name signaling who we used to be

But negating who we are now

And what if the name we’re given

Was attached to another person first

So that people projected that one on us

From the moment of our birth

Well that hardly can be called fair

It’s like we never had a chance

First having to assert that we’re not them

Before we can ever take our stance

For some this is a challenge

We cannot be that strong

To resist how people are shaping us

With the thoughts that we are wrong

It’s like any definition

We are limited by what we’re called

Unless we transcend all definitions

By assuming the Name that can exalt

It’s a name given in secret

By the Name above all names

That within contains the very fullness

Of the Origins from which we came

This Name does not define us

It simply reminds us of who we are

Disintegrating any thought that we are less

Than that which shapes the stars

Sometimes the name we’re given

Is the first lie we’re ever told

The life we live subsequently

Is just watching the lies unfold

But we do not have to claim this

Just because that’s all we know

Just ask Hashem who we really are

Then let the you that’s not you go

Ask the Creator what your Name is

Then live into the highest vision

Day by day receiving clues

Until you come into recognition

Then one day you will know it

The Name that’s truly you

Live this Name within your heart of hearts

Until your transformation comes into view

That’s when you are living the revelation

Knowing the eternal you as you are known

Freed from the limits of temporal judgments

Attached to a name that was not your own

Give Me This Day

May 7, 2015 Higher Up IDEALLeave a comment

How can I trust You today,

While still worrying about tomorrow?

Never present in the All that’s Now

When from the “future” I try to borrow

The day is sufficient unto itself

With all the fullness therein lies

Giving me all that I could ever need

If I could just see beyond my eyes

There is truly nothing missing

I am all I need to be

All absence revealing a greater Yes

From the view of eternity

There is no need for striving

All is accomplished in my vision

When I close my eyes to all that’s not

By making the One Decision

The gap in all things closes

Divisions now have ceased

When accepting You as the Soul Provider

And the Author of my Peace

On Earth as it is in Heaven

My hungers all have gone

Except the One that urges me to You

But is fulfilled when it comes on

Winners Cannot Lose

February 20, 2015 Higher Up IDEALLeave a comment

The feeling that we label loss

Is a lie with no foundation

Despite what we continue to tell ourselves,

It’s never part of God’s Creation

Being wholly Present

In God absence can never be

So all that was always is

No matter what we think we see

It’s really quite amazing

Our sophisticated lies

Without time we cannot be special

So we’d rather believe we die

It’s all a big equation

Calculated in our favor

If others can lose then we can win

Giving us a chance to play the savior

It’s an attractive proposition

To be better than them all

But if you take away the judgment

You instantly take away the fall

Yeshua is a genius

See how he takes away our sins

By showing us a reality

Where everybody wins

There are no such thing as losers

We can win or we can learn

Or we can suffer in resistance

Until we start to feel the burn

But we can’t hold out forever

Eventually we will crumble

Realizing that the power we are looking for

Can only come from being humble

That’s when thinking of others losing

Becomes a complete misuse of mind

And our obsessive thoughts of winning

Soon transform to the healing kind

What we once called our misfortunes

Now are blessings undisguised

Because we’re no longer seeing dimly

Once the Truth is realized

It’s what Yeshua was trying to say

“Those who don’t have will have less”

But those who have will have much more

For through them the world is blessed

Not of their own doing

But because they were undone

No longer fearing losing

The entire world has won

The Mirror In the Man

February 19, 2015 Higher Up IDEAL2 Comments

I talked to the Man in the Mirror

Who led me to the Mirror in the Man

The thoughts that I reflect upon

That shape how I understand

He told me that to know him

I first had to let him be

To go back to his original state

Untethered and wholly free

Before he was a father

Before he was a son

Before he was just a survival tool

That state where he is One

His suggestion threatened my ego

I feared I would not exist

Without my mind to remind me of who I was

How could my ideas of me persist?

But he told me that all my big ideas

Led me further from the Truth

They were just stories I told myself

So that my so called life had proof

He said the Man in the Mirror

Is not really my reflection

That I was focusing all my power

On a mere ego projection

My mind shining through a filter

That casted only a shadow of myself

That I then looked at Creation through

Seeing shadows everywhere else

This was really hard to swallow

How could this really be?

How can I know who I really am

If my body isn’t me?

And what of other bodies?

If they’re not people, who are they?

And if I try to tell them this,

What will these other bodies say?

Maybe what they’re supposed to,

To ensure that they survive.

But if that is all that we can do

What is it that makes us come alive?

If we are not all these categories

And boxes people check

Are we really anything at all,

When further we reflect?

That’s really a scary thought

But one we have to entertain

If we ever are to know ourselves

As more than programs in our brain

In fact, the fear we feel around this

Is just another survival tool

Because the brain’s designed to not admit

When its programming has been fooled

Try it if you doubt it

Just try thinking something new

Say something that you don’t believe

And see what your brain will do

Synapses will start firing

Doing pattern reconstruction

Telling you what you already “know”

Just like the brain is supposed to function

It’s not easy to resist this

Even when higher knowledge has been revealed

We cannot do what we want to do

As long as the former pattern’s sealed

When I heard this, I couldn’t deny it

I had experienced the same

My brain was making all the rules

When I thought I controlled the game

This thought was so frustrating

The cognitive dissonance started hurting

Trying to hold these opposing thoughts

Was severely disconcerting

That’s when I remembered

Something in the Bible that I read

“Greater is He that’s in you.”

So I listened to “Him” instead

The “me” that is in the world

Started running out of time

As I began my transformation

Through the renewal of my mind

Paul said to die daily

Renewing body, mind, and all

Living from our heavenly body

That is aligned with our mind’s true call

But to do this we must surrender

We lose our lives when we try to save it

So the only Way to truly live

Is to return our lives to the One who gave it

This is the Mind that is in Christ

The Mind begotten but never born

According to the Original pattern

And not the ones to which the brain’s conformed