Fighting Over Crumbs

All things to All things
Nothing is denied
But we’re fighting over bread crumbs
Because someone believed a lie

So now we kill each other
In our constant pursuit of more
We believe we are “consumers”
Because we don’t know what we’re for

Infinite Creation
Nothing more or less
But instead destruction follows us
When we put us to the test

Addicted to the thought of conquering
Sixty steps till we unlearn
That the truth of life is obvious
When we’re not looking for our turn

In the mean time there’s confusion
We’re told we have to choose a side
Contests between “us” and “them”
Where the winner doesn’t die

But what if someone told you
That everything is yours
And everything is everyone’s
And no one’s keeping score

The House is not divided
Upon the Rock is where it stands
Never to be shaken
By unreasonable demands

But because it can’t be broken
It won’t resist what it is we do
We can lie all the hell we want to
Because all of it’s untrue

Though we deny the Absolute
It simply continues as it is
Fully realized. No need to strive.
For it’s the life that we all Live

It’s the Bread that’s not devoured
Though we eat it to our fill
Diminishing every sense of loss
Like nothing ever will

 

Spontaneous Cypher

Wonder where I’m coming from?

Let me get you up to speed.

If it’s true–God provides

What I want, I don’t need

Being less never is

In the One Source of All

But let the world tell it

We’re divided by our falls

Makes us so small

Man this grift amaze me

Used to say, “We all One”

But they called me, “Crazy”

Now to me it seems lately

It’s the Word of Truth

The lie of separation

Is now busting loose

Because I Am you are

One Light Two Stars

Shining inside out

So we never go too far

Well that’s about it

That’s All I want to say

Now that that’s off my chest

I bow down to pray.

Twisted

People,

In the wake of all that is going on with the violence, fear, hurt, and anger in this world, I challenge all of us who are seeking to transcend status quo to read this poem and take it into your heart. If you get something out of it share it. It’s autobiographical, but in the end, it isn’t about me. It’s about taking responsibility for the world that we are all creating. It’s time to wake up or die in our sleep.

The Love,

Pedro S. Silva II

Twisted
Open up your ears and hear
The story that I’m telling you
When I was a little kid
I used to get dissed on the regular

I used to get picked on
Poked at and made fun of
Because I was a sensitive cat
Always talking about One Love

Other kids my age
Had multiple distractions
Where as I was more focused on
Putting words into action

So when I took it to the streets
I didn’t expect to get straight dissed
‘Cause my shoes had too many stripes for Adidas
But not enough for K-Swiss

My words were for nothing
I only evoked laughter
I tried to get them focused off my clothes
But it just didn’t matter

They called me church boy
They said I talked “white”
But they were living cartoon
While I was living real life

I wanted to show love
But all they knew was hating
Perpetually playing themselves
Because they were mentally masturbating

They believed the lie
It had been passed down from their mama
Generations infected by an attempt
To keep the black man in drama

So I took it to the adults
I thought they would understand
But they were too “whitewashed”
To see this burgeoning black man

So I took it to my history teacher
Then he said this to my face
“You’re a smart boy
And a credit to your race”

He thought it was a compliment
Only a white man could say that
If he understood anything about me
He’d have known I wouldn’t play that

But I knew he had good intentions
I could tell he didn’t know
He was caught up like everyone else
So I decided to let it go

I then took it to my Grandma
But what she said left me unsettled
She told me tell white people I was Portuguese
So that they would treat me better

What the hell was that?
Was this some conspiracy?
Everyone and their mama working together
To try to instill fear in me

They saw something I thought was impossible
While I saw something else
They were choosing to believe a lie
But I chose to believe in myself

I knew that God had made me
And I know He only makes the best
So I knew the fact that I was not white
In no way made me less

Someone had gotten it twisted
And I was going to find out who
There was no way I was letting these scared victims of society
Tell me what to do

So at first I examined the white man
Since everyone thought he was so smart
I discovered so many despicable deeds
It was as if he had no heart

Then I checked out the black man
I figured they were more like me
But I got pissed to find out some of them helped
When we were sold into slavery

My mind became consumed with anger
I had to let it out
So I decided to tell every black and white
What I was all about

Well both sides called me a racist
In that they agreed with each other
Whites said I was an uppity nigger
And blacks called me siddity brother

So I then turned to God
Well turned on Him is more accurate
Because I didn’t like the way He made this world
I told Him I wasn’t having it

I said “You better do something
Before I fix this world myself
If You are the One responsible for this
I might as well pray to someone else”

He responded, “While you’re sitting here pointing fingers
How about looking in the mirror
I am the One that made all you see
Call nothing I made inferior

Who are you to judge?
Are you the scale by which all things are measured?
Are all things imperfect as compared to you?
Did you put this world together?

There’s a point to all of this
Just listen to what I’m saying
Perhaps I created this entire world
Just to have you right here praying

In Me anything is possible
To all those who believe
This world is as beautiful or ugly as you see it
It depends on what you choose to perceive

I made this world out of perfection
But in your Ego you thought you could fix it
This world will change when you change your mind
You are the one that got it twisted

© Copyright 2004 Pedro S. Silva II

 

 

The Up Side of Down

I am done with my pretending
That One can ever be a two
Two is just a false multiplicity
Of all that isn’t true

We claim a world based on division
Of what can never be divided
We think that we can take the All that’s One
And make it double-sided

But the distance never happened
Not even in our dreams
Oneness yielding separation
Infinity bursting at the seams

I can see it all so clearly
I can feel it in my bones
I am still “In the Beginning”
And I’ve never been alone

We is a singularity
Plurality is just a method of expression
The All that’s One seen in many ways
Casting infinite reflections

That’s the Up side of Down
They are One and they’re the same
Like life and death and all that’s left
Are simply links in a single chain

Move a link and see what happens
You move one and you move them all
And so it is in every realm
Rising as we fall

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

Led Into Temptation

When I feel led into temptation

I know it’s not from You

It’s because I’m looking at other things

That are telling me what to do

Thank You that I’m not listening

But I must admit that it’s a challenge

I’m trying to stand on what You said

But it’s hard to keep my balance

I know serving You is a narrow path

That comes with all I need included

But when I begin to look at the outer world

I start wondering if I’m deluded

Sure You always have provided

Showed me things few would believe

But maybe it’s all coincidence

And I have actually been deceived

That’s what I start to tell myself

Whenever I want to take control

Strung along by my desires

Fantasies trying to take their hold

I’m now wrestling with the Cosmos

Corporeality’s got me pinned

I’m on the verge of tapping out

And that’s just when You tap in

The Work You do’s amazing

You’re literally all over the Place

Making One out of many breaks

Through the bending of time and space

Things that seemed to be for evil

All of a sudden becoming good

Doing things I never thought You’d do

But I imagine You knew You would

Or maybe you did it for me

In response to my condition

You saw the mess I was headed toward

So You made my life Your mission

Either way I can say You’ve saved me

Time and time again

Absorbing my temptation

Thereby leading me from sin

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

 

This Is Not a Poem

This is not a poem

Despite the rhyming and construction

This is what the critic says

Because it doesn’t follow the poem’s function

I have to show you the dilemma

You have to struggle to understand me

You have to encounter the limitations

Of what a “good poem” can and can’t be

Clever lines don’t make it poetry

Despite conveying my intention

Good poetry has to stick to the rules

And be the result of pure invention

Please don’t come with inspiration

Don’t express in your own style

Don’t emerge with your own cadence

March in step and single file

Try to sound like someone famous

Do not always write in rhyme

 

People cry for peace

Meanwhile they are dropping bombs

Dead men can’t start wars

 

I just dropped some haiku lines

 

But maybe that isn’t poetry

I’ll ask an expert. They will know.

Or maybe they just know what poems are not

“Iambic pentameter is the purest flow”

Truthfully it doesn’t matter

If it isn’t poetry, I’d still be writing

I’d just be calling it something else

And in its expression be delighting

Not simply because I wrote it

But because it’s emerging from Creation

Like a flower that offers fragrance

What I give’s my participation

Whether beautiful or ugly

Lyrically strong or suffering weakness

What I bring forth is what I’m called to give

From the Universe’s unlimited uniqueness

For if I don’t shine the light I’m given

I am a thief and what’s more a liar

And claiming that I am not received

Is no excuse for quenching fire

So call it what you will

I will do what I must do

My words may fail, but I won’t hold back

It might not be poetry, but it’s true

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

 

Sadness v. Anger

When faced with sadness v. anger

I find it very hard to choose

Because no matter who I side with

It seems someone has to lose

If I decide to go with sadness

It’s like a path to self destruction

Bottling up what is going on

Which begins to effect the way I function

With a less than upbeat countenance

People soon begin to notice

A thousand thoughts going through my mind

Making it a challenge to keep my focus

Soon acquaintances are always checking in

Trying to see if I’m okay

But before I explain what’s on my mind

Their minds begin turning the other way

Which only makes me sadder

I should’ve kept my problems to myself

Few people want to see the pain they hide

Reflected in the face of someone else

“Aren’t we all supposed to be happy

All the blanking time”

A thought that’s so unsettling

That I start to cross the anger line

But here’s the thing about our anger

On the surface it feels so freeing

But spending too much time with it

Can make you a different human being

See with sadness we feel like we should improve

It leads to the gate of our frustration

Where with anger it only feeds itself

On the fuel of justification

We feel it’s a right to have some anger

To feel it is not unique

Some would even say that it’s in vogue

Competing with stress for what’s more chic

Anger gets you some respect

Which in a way can be addicting

Unlike sadness which often comes with shame

Or guilt which is itself restricting

Anger seems to have your back

While sadness only takes you down

You can have an honest laugh with anger

But sadness is better expressed with frowns

People will support you in your anger

With sadness they push away the feeling

We can take our anger to increasing levels

But sadness has to have a ceiling

Maybe it’s because anger’s more entertaining

It makes for a better story

The angry teams walks away with gold

The sad team looking worse outside their glory

We even can accept an angry god

Before we can accept a god who’s sad

Even when meeting God whose name is Love

We anticipate god, the abusive dad

For a loving God knows sadness

This is also the God who cries

But a God who suffers is a God we resist

For this is a God to Whom we’re obliged

For if God suffers we’re never alone

If God endures we’re not in danger

For a God who relates to how we feel

Takes away the righteousness of our anger

We see our pain in context

Through the rending of this veil

We see that when we choose to separate

We are the authors of our own betrayal

Because as long as we are angry

We can’t choose reconciliation

The only way back to our more whole selves

Restored from humiliation

You see healing requires sadness

Even if anger’s our first decision

Because sadness means our heart still has some hope

And has not surrendered to division

Now accepting this isn’t easy

Anger is truly a sweet temptation

But in the end it proves a hopeless endeavor

That only persists in separation

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

 

Nothing Is What It Seems

Nothing is what it seems

There’s always something underneath

Hidden worlds in every event

Taking action to be released

All you might see is what’s in front of you

Meanwhile a mystery unfolds

While you’re focusing on the “important things”

Secret stories are being told

Like the alarm that you just slept through

That will you make late to that early meeting

You will experience as an inconvenience

When in truth it’s an Angel’s greeting

Or that relationship that ended

That you thought would be forever

May be causing you a lot of pain right now

But it would be worse if you stayed together

Or what about that job of yours

That leaves you daily stressing

You think it’s about how much you’re paid

When it’s about how much you’re blessing

Your child who will not listen

That one who never stops debating

May be getting on your very last nerve

But you don’t know what they’re cultivating

This is what I remind myself

When things don’t seem to go my way

That God is shaping something in my soul

That is not always on display

And this isn’t true for only me

But for everyone around me

Even the people I consider not so nice

May have souls that would astound me

That’s why Abba tells me not to judge

My sisters and my brothers

Because we might see what our bodies do

But most times we can’t see each other

Of course you may not like this line of thought

I’m not suggesting that you should

All I want to do is encourage you

Because there is underlying good

It may be difficult to fathom

Especially when looking at the past

But even if everything went your way

It still was never meant to last

This world is like an incubator

That’s meant to help us build our strength

Not a place for us to make a home

Or seek to stay beyond its length

And everything that happens here

Is always more than it appears

Because we’re learning how to better choose

Between what’s from joy and what’s from fears

We’re being prepared for our true nature

That was not meant to stay in time

We are practicing being human

So we can handle what is Divine

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

I Have Denied You

I can admit that I’ve denied You

No matter what I’ve tried to say

Even saying Your Name a thousand times

I deny you every day

I don’t do it on the surface

How I do it is undercover

Every time I refuse to love my neighbor

As if they were a sister or a brother

When I close my heart to a stranger

Who may be an angel unaware

I deny that You are The Presence

By pretending You’re not there

I tell myself I’m behind You

That I’m following in Your steps

But the reality is if I don’t give You all

Any credit I receive is theft

I don’t want to be a liar

But I am every time I speak

When I act as if I’m special

Or that my struggle’s are unique

From the least up to the greatest

The categories that we impose

Are just as false as separation

The lie out of which they all arose

It’s one of the things that keeps me distant

Whenever I make it real

Saying, “I feel like I can’t relate to You

Because You don’t know how I feel.”

But in truth You’re right here with me

In everything I do

And suddenly it becomes so very clear

I deny me when denying You

For in relationship I was formed

In communion I was conceived

You accepted me for who I would become

Even before I first believed

That’s why You can’t make me doubt You

I do that on my own

As soon as I open my mouth to say,

“I feel like I’m alone.”

For that has never been my reality

Nor has it been for any person

Endings begin with this very first sin

And from there they begin to worsen

“If I’m alone then no one loves me”

“If I’m alone I can’t cause pain”

But humans aren’t meant to be alone

So the very thought makes us insane

That’s why we’re constantly seeking approval

Causing drama to feel connected

Chasing our tails to personal hells

Because we can’t accept that we’re accepted

I’m sure we don’t want to do this

But we find it hard to fight this

I’m thinking about You at this very moment

And yet I deny You as I write this

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

 

 

 

Everything and Then Some

When someone asks you to prove your love,

You better prepare to die

Anything less is just holding back

In this beholder’s eye

Though they do not think they’re worthy

They want you to make them feel they are

But no matter how much you offer them

They won’t believe it without your scars

They want to see you bleed

They want you to give it all away

How much your heart has love for them

Is the last thing they demand you say

Your last words should be a testament

To how much they mean to you

But they’ll find a reason to doubt it

No matter what you do

On them the sun should rise

On them the sun should set

Give yourself to anything else

And their whole world will be upset

Even if it’s your own children

Or your faith in your religion

Any focus that is not on them

In their minds will cause division

They will say it’s because they love you

But this can’t be further from the truth

Because if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from love

Is that it never asks for proof

It gives with no thought of getting

It’s sole hope is that we receive

And even after we’ve denied it thrice

We find Love is the One who grieves

Abandoned and abused

Love still keeps us in its prayers

Compelling us to fulfillment

While we are focused on other cares

Love is so relentless

That it will even refuse to die

Coming back to bless its murderers

Despite this fact we still deny

Love forgives us before we seek it

Keeps its promises while we’re debating

And when we arrive in the hells that we create

We find Love is right there waiting

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II