There’s A World

infinite-crisis-worlds1
There’s a world we all are living in
But not everyone can see
A World of eternal spaciousness
Where everyone is free

Inside that world is another world
Where people choose to live a lie
“Special people”claim to know the Truth
And teach the “forgetting” we can die

Some of those people know the Truth
And twist it tight for so called gain
Telling us that we can’t get along
And that the Other causes pain

Their clarion call is “SAVE YOURSELF”
So that’s what many of us try to do
We can’t see it’s just a cattle call
And all they want to hear is “MOOOO”

They have no purpose if we’re not scared
“Can’t you see that there’s a threat?”
They know that we will sell our souls
Only as long as we’re fearing death

They tell you they’re here to protect us
That’s the job for which they’re paid
In exchange you can focus on other things
But you lose consciousness in the trade

The world of lies that we think is real
Does not objectively exist
Like a picture of a sumptuous meal
On which no one can subsist

Meanwhile in the eternal world
One is the Truth that always reigns
“divided houses” do not exist
And there is no loss or gain

No one’s seeking for the joy in life
For Joy is the Cause of Life itself
And value isn’t used as we use it here
Since everything springs from eternal wealth

There also is never a use for Welcome
Because there’s never a time that we aren’t here
We can tell ourselves that we’ve gone away
But to Truth we’ve never disappeared

Like children with their hands on eyes
Who think they’re unseen when they can’t see
Here we can choose to chain ourselves
But that doesn’t make us less than free

We’re only bound by the limits that we project
Our own judgments become our jail
But our sentence is never for our entire life
Because the Truth always prevails

He Fit the Description

They told him “put your hands up.”
He did and that day he died.
Innocence put to death.
His crime was he complied

The authorities are the ones who killed him.
He must have “fit the right description”
They called him a troublemaker.
Never mind it was a fiction

It wasn’t just the way he looked
It was also the way he saw
He loved outside the rules
To them it violated law

He was out with his friends
No one knows what he did wrong
But they came for him with their weapons
They already had them drawn

Though unarmed and non-threatening,
They started drawing near
To me it’s quite ironic
That they were filled with so much fear

What were they afraid of–
The stories they were told?
“You better watch out with a guy like him.”
“He’s been known to lose control.”

“Have you seen the crowd he hangs with?”
“Let’s look at all the facts.”
“A gang leader if there was ever one.”
“He should have never crossed the tracks.”

“He dines with people known as criminals.”
“He’s friends with women of the night.”
“Believe me he’s not innocent’.”
“Something is just not right.”

That’s the kind of messaging
That makes those like him such a threat
No one ever gets him
And we still haven’t seen him yet

That’s why still today we kill him
In the bodies we see as least
And yet many of us say we follow him
I thought he was called “The Prince of Peace”

He died so we could stop this
But still we choose to pay the price
Because whenever we kill the innocent
We are always killing Christ.

© Copyright 2016 Pedro S. Silva II

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No matter what one thinks about Christ, we know what innocence is and what it isn’t in the depths of our being. When we deny that knowledge, we deny all that can be right in this world.

Twisted

People,

In the wake of all that is going on with the violence, fear, hurt, and anger in this world, I challenge all of us who are seeking to transcend status quo to read this poem and take it into your heart. If you get something out of it share it. It’s autobiographical, but in the end, it isn’t about me. It’s about taking responsibility for the world that we are all creating. It’s time to wake up or die in our sleep.

The Love,

Pedro S. Silva II

Twisted
Open up your ears and hear
The story that I’m telling you
When I was a little kid
I used to get dissed on the regular

I used to get picked on
Poked at and made fun of
Because I was a sensitive cat
Always talking about One Love

Other kids my age
Had multiple distractions
Where as I was more focused on
Putting words into action

So when I took it to the streets
I didn’t expect to get straight dissed
‘Cause my shoes had too many stripes for Adidas
But not enough for K-Swiss

My words were for nothing
I only evoked laughter
I tried to get them focused off my clothes
But it just didn’t matter

They called me church boy
They said I talked “white”
But they were living cartoon
While I was living real life

I wanted to show love
But all they knew was hating
Perpetually playing themselves
Because they were mentally masturbating

They believed the lie
It had been passed down from their mama
Generations infected by an attempt
To keep the black man in drama

So I took it to the adults
I thought they would understand
But they were too “whitewashed”
To see this burgeoning black man

So I took it to my history teacher
Then he said this to my face
“You’re a smart boy
And a credit to your race”

He thought it was a compliment
Only a white man could say that
If he understood anything about me
He’d have known I wouldn’t play that

But I knew he had good intentions
I could tell he didn’t know
He was caught up like everyone else
So I decided to let it go

I then took it to my Grandma
But what she said left me unsettled
She told me tell white people I was Portuguese
So that they would treat me better

What the hell was that?
Was this some conspiracy?
Everyone and their mama working together
To try to instill fear in me

They saw something I thought was impossible
While I saw something else
They were choosing to believe a lie
But I chose to believe in myself

I knew that God had made me
And I know He only makes the best
So I knew the fact that I was not white
In no way made me less

Someone had gotten it twisted
And I was going to find out who
There was no way I was letting these scared victims of society
Tell me what to do

So at first I examined the white man
Since everyone thought he was so smart
I discovered so many despicable deeds
It was as if he had no heart

Then I checked out the black man
I figured they were more like me
But I got pissed to find out some of them helped
When we were sold into slavery

My mind became consumed with anger
I had to let it out
So I decided to tell every black and white
What I was all about

Well both sides called me a racist
In that they agreed with each other
Whites said I was an uppity nigger
And blacks called me siddity brother

So I then turned to God
Well turned on Him is more accurate
Because I didn’t like the way He made this world
I told Him I wasn’t having it

I said “You better do something
Before I fix this world myself
If You are the One responsible for this
I might as well pray to someone else”

He responded, “While you’re sitting here pointing fingers
How about looking in the mirror
I am the One that made all you see
Call nothing I made inferior

Who are you to judge?
Are you the scale by which all things are measured?
Are all things imperfect as compared to you?
Did you put this world together?

There’s a point to all of this
Just listen to what I’m saying
Perhaps I created this entire world
Just to have you right here praying

In Me anything is possible
To all those who believe
This world is as beautiful or ugly as you see it
It depends on what you choose to perceive

I made this world out of perfection
But in your Ego you thought you could fix it
This world will change when you change your mind
You are the one that got it twisted

© Copyright 2004 Pedro S. Silva II

 

 

Pain and Loss

There is a place where what we think we’ve lost

Is right here with us all along

Never not within our reach

Out of view but never gone

It’s a place that’s called Reality

It isn’t hard to find

All you need to do is reimagine you

And accept that time is not a line

It’s not even a circle

More precisely it’s like a sphere

Expanding all around you

So that any now is always here

With your focus on a center

Life moves in and out like breath

On the inhale you touch eternal life

While the exhale feels like death

But of course that is illusion

The in and out are wholly one

Try to divide them into two

And what you wind up with is none

But that is just a moment

In an infinitude of more

As soon as one ends another begins

That’s why no one’s keeping score

Now some would see this as their freedom

“I will do what I want to do.”

“No loss must mean no consequence.”

But actually it isn’t true

Despite the fact that all is here

And that time lasts longer than forever

There is a flow to how it goes

Which keeps it all together

There’s a pushing and a pulling

That manifests in waves

That creates alignments with likes and likes

Creating masters bound to slaves

Some people call it karma

I call it reaping what we sow

God probably calls it “It is what it is.”

But it’s a mystery we cannot know

It maintains itself through veiling

As we approach the truth we feel it shifting

Causing us to look again

Because now it feels like something’s missing

It’s not trying to be evasive

Even though that’s how it seems

Truth’s just trying to keep us moving

So it can pull us from the dream

There is really nothing to lose

This is the one thing we can gain

To wake us up from the fear of loss

Out of which we make up pain

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

Everything and Then Some

When someone asks you to prove your love,

You better prepare to die

Anything less is just holding back

In this beholder’s eye

Though they do not think they’re worthy

They want you to make them feel they are

But no matter how much you offer them

They won’t believe it without your scars

They want to see you bleed

They want you to give it all away

How much your heart has love for them

Is the last thing they demand you say

Your last words should be a testament

To how much they mean to you

But they’ll find a reason to doubt it

No matter what you do

On them the sun should rise

On them the sun should set

Give yourself to anything else

And their whole world will be upset

Even if it’s your own children

Or your faith in your religion

Any focus that is not on them

In their minds will cause division

They will say it’s because they love you

But this can’t be further from the truth

Because if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from love

Is that it never asks for proof

It gives with no thought of getting

It’s sole hope is that we receive

And even after we’ve denied it thrice

We find Love is the One who grieves

Abandoned and abused

Love still keeps us in its prayers

Compelling us to fulfillment

While we are focused on other cares

Love is so relentless

That it will even refuse to die

Coming back to bless its murderers

Despite this fact we still deny

Love forgives us before we seek it

Keeps its promises while we’re debating

And when we arrive in the hells that we create

We find Love is right there waiting

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

God Is Still Seeking

The One for Whom we think we’re seeking
Is the One who sought us first
For we begin as a thought in the Eternal Mind
Before descending into birth
Personality, pursuits, and power plays
Had not yet even been conceived
But being formed in the “Always Is”
All we will be is achieved
Being fashioned out of what can’t be grasped
We cannot fathom the depths of Being
Or the heights to which we’re being led
If we surrender to Truer Seeing
God seeks us not to catch us
But to release us into Life
By first stripping us of all we’re really not
So that the real us comes to light
But the reason that we’re running
Is because what we fear that we might lose
We think that the life we’re making up
Is the only life that we can choose
We subscribe to false conditions
Thus becoming what is prescribed
Most conforming to illusion
Not knowing it’s based on lies
Even the god that we’re pursuing
Is rarely the God that truly Lives
Because any god that we can grasp
Has limits on what it gives
The God who seeks is ever giving
And from this giving emerges pleasure
We accept our need and God will give
That’s what keeps us all together
God’s Spirit pouring out
Gives our God the greatest joy
So every Word that ushers forth
Will never ever come back void
Even the slightest little whisper
God will seek with all abandon
Calling it back to its Wholly Source
Where no other creation can ever stand in
Once we’re found by Our Creator
We come to know what’s known by few
That the God who seeks is the God who finds
The God inside of you
Some of you might call this blasphemy
But not because of why you say
It’s really because a god who is not in you
Is a God you can keep away
Some of us wonder where God is hiding
We ask “Where can this God be?”
Not imagining that God’s invisibility
Comes from being too close to see
And thus we do so little seeking
So thank God we can be found
Just by choosing to get so very still
And trusting that God is all around

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

This Side of the Resurrection

This body that you see 

Is merely an appearance

My truest body is doing work

While this one is running interference

In reality you can’t see me

Despite the fact that you think you do

But what you see is just a shadow

That somehow the Light is shining through

Yes, I know that is impossible

According to the laws that you call physics

But our laws are just a theory

To the One in Whom Light’s intrinsic

To the One there is no darkness

They simply turn it inside out

So that the vibrations become reflective

What was within now shines without

It’s something like electric

But with the absence of the static

Transforming so very instantly

That it’s faster than automatic

As it was in the Beginning

Has nothing on what’s eternal

The Being before existence

This Fire consumes before it burns you

All the dross that’s left behind

Is everything we were attached to

Revealing on the other side

That the lies could not dispatch you

Playing the hostage to a lie

We live lives that are not our own

Putting our principle interest

On a body that in truth is just a loan

This is not the true intention

Of assuming this expression

The goal is to know as we are known

Through the releasing of our regression

Going backward to take us forward

To lead us to where we never left

Is the path of least persistence

In the realm where there is no death

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

 

After the Walls Come Down

Walls now crumbled, things start shifting

No one can deceive you

You find yourself where you always were

But no one will believe you

You tell them your new story

Because in Truth you know it’s theirs

In the Mind of God where we live and move

Death has no power there

Resurrection is a promise

Because no one ever dies

Once they choose to live the Life

Which reveals that Love abides

Now you’d think that this was good news

And the simplest of decisions

But soon you see that’s not the case

When people have the habit of division

At first you understand it

Since you were living by those rules

But once it became so clear to you

You start to think of them as fools

How could they not get it?

Can’t they see that we’re all One

That there’s no such thing as separation

When we focus on the Son

But no one you’re telling wants to hear it

Especially not from you

“Suddenly you’re so high and mighty.”

“We know what you used to do.”

“Don’t act like you’re so holy.”

“Remember the way you used to be.”

“Then you go and find religion.”

“Now you stand here judging me.”

You try to tell them you’re not judging

And that religion is not what guides you

It’s just that now you see the Truth

That all our lives we have been lied to

This is bigger than religion

The Truth is so much more

Religion is a roadmap to the Center

But it can’t take you to the Core

When you see it you can’t forget it

It transforms your entire life

Now you’re willing to surrender everything

For the Pearl of greater price

You’ll let go of all attachments

To receive what God’s ordained

But you never thought in doing so

Your relations would be strained

But now it’s starting to hit you

The Truth does not always bring accord

That’s what Yeshua was trying to tell us

When he said he came to bring a sword

This is rarely preached in churches

For this fact we don’t prepare you

When people just want you to join the club

We fear that it will scare you

We try to tell you of the joys

But forget about the costs

Which is natural when we choose our words

From a paradigm of loss

You see the connections we think we’re losing

Are ones that never did exist

Who they accepted was a false us

That’s why the true us gets dismissed

But we shouldn’t take it personally

It’s not the real you they’re rejecting

They doing what the ego does

It’s the false them they’re protecting

To do this they will attack you

Your temptation is to get them back

Which insanely makes them happy

Since it seems to keep the lie intact

Yesh says, “Pick up your cross and bear it.”

“Come and follow me.”

“The Truth is that since we’re all One

If you get lifted they get free.”

“I know that it’s a mystery.”

“But as I told you it is Light.”

“Being low is the way to go

If you’re to see the highest heights.”

“But you cannot take them with you.”

“Still you must give the invitation,

So they can see how much they’re loved

And perhaps surrender separation.”

“While you can’t control the outcome,

You’ve power over what you give.”

“So while they may not see it now,

One day they’ll remember how you lived.”

“They’ll know you lived forgiveness.”

“They’ll see you knew what you were worth.”

“That you saw yourself as a child of God

Despite the conditions of your birth.”

“And perhaps that will be the trigger.”

“That they can live forgiveness too.”

“But in the meantime you must show them,

By forgiving what they do.”

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

 

See 1 John 4 for perspective.

On Being a Moneymaker

All these years I’ve been living life

Like money isn’t real

Never making decisions based on it

But focusing more on how I feel

 

I’ve walked away from high paying gigs

To work in shipping and receiving

Just because I wanted to

No thought of what I was achieving

 

I’ve disappointed around the world

For not fulfilling my potential

All the while feeling quite at peace

With an air that’s presidential

 

I felt just like a rich man

Doing what I wanted to do

Never thinking that my bank account

Meant my riches were not true

 

I saw life as an adventure

A journey to be savored

All I needed was provided for

As if I lived a life of favor

 

Then someone brought to my attention

That I was not living life to plan

I should be a millionaire by now

Getting everything I can

 

But instead I’m still just bopping along

Doing what I do

Believing that everything is working out

In accordance with heaven’s view

 

But lately I’ve been wondering

What if I’ve been wrong

What if seeking Truth is a task for fools

And life was about Benjamins all along

 

Then that puts me way behind

I may never win the race

All my friends are miles ahead

While I was running in One Place

 

What if love of money isn’t evil

But love of God is the distraction?

What if I’ve been “bait and switched”

And missed my chance at satisfaction?

 

I could have been a moneymaker

The one calling all the shots

Instead of trying to know my soul

And purify my thoughts

 

I could have been stacking paper

Collecting fees and cashing checks

Instead of studying root causes

So that I can undo their ill effects

 

When I was busy seeking the Kingdom

Stuff was added to another

It might turn out I’m the prodigal

Being shamed by the other brother

 

What if YOLO* was the real deal

While I was thinking I’d live forever?

Which had me living fancy free

When I should have been under pressure?

 

When I was considering the lilies

And the birds of the air

I should have considered my 401k

Instead of casting all my cares

 

Well at least that’s what I’ve been wondering

For at least the past few years

When people were looking down on me

For not passing up my peers

 

They tell me that with a mind like mine

They would’ve managed so much more

But I said if their mind was just like mine

They wouldn’t be keeping score

 

The fact is that while I’m wondering

If my choices were mistakes

I do so from Eternity

Which is beyond both time and space

 

I can always be a moneymaker

In fact I’ve been one at other times

That’s why I know the value it really has

Comes not from what it buys

 

Money is a form of expression

For what you hold most dear

So what we have or do not have

Can’t make our riches clear

 

So the best measure of my worth

Is the measure of my love

And how much I can give of it

Is all I should be thinking of.

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

 

*You Only Live Once

 

 

Am I In Love?

Is this truly my reality
Or the most illusive of dreams?
Because I am living in my fantasy
Well, at least that is how it seems

The death of my emotions,
Has seen resurrection in your eyes.
Is this what I came here for?
Is this the reason for all my lives?

All the mistakes I thought I was making,
All the things I’ve put “Me” through.
It was worth my time in the darkness,
To see the light that resides in you.

This place in which I find “Myself” is uncharted in my universe
A place I’ve only heard of.
I wonder what I should call this place.
Have I found “Myself” in “Love”?

Ah relationships.  Can I say enough about them? It’s what humans were designed for.  It’s how we all got here and probably what takes us out. Well I am joking a little on that last statement.  But as anyone who has ever been in love in the romantic sense can tell you, nothing can make you love life or hate life like romantic relationships. Take it from a guy who had been married three times by age thirty-five. More on that later. What I want to focus on first is what I am going to call “Big Love/Big Relationship”.  This is the Love of all loves and the Relationship which makes all other relating possible.  In the language I use it would be called the Love and Relationship of God with all of life. In Paul’s letter to the Romans he described this love as a bond to God that nothing can separate us from.  The words he chose were:

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38)

Elsewhere in Ephesians 3, Paul go so far as to say that if we had the strength to receive this love that Christ knew so well we could be filled with all the fullness of God.  Can you imagine that–to be filled with all of the fullness of God? Is it even possible? What does that even mean?  Apparently Paul had some idea of what it meant and he prayed that those who heard his words would come to know what it meant as well.

For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Did you notice that in Paul’s prayer that he used the term family to unite heaven and earth through God? The whole family of God includes the residents of both heaven and earth.  God is related to us all and we are all related to each other in God.  This is very important to keep in mind when Paul indicates the goal of his prayer which is that we come to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge–a love that can embrace the whole family of God.  For it is the one whose heart is strengthened to know this love that can be filled with the fullness of God. So what does this have to do with being “in love”?  Well, what it brings up for me is the idea that this feeling of love that we expect from our family and that we often demand from our romantic relationships has its source in this love that Paul is talking about. Think about it.  Why do we get disappointed in almost every single one of our relational bonds?  Well from my point of view, we experience these disappointments because we are comparing all of our relationships to a love that we somehow know is possible even if it is beyond the realm of our experience.  It is a love that passes knowledge.

As children, we enter this world with a sense of wonder and awe.  There is no such thing as ordinary or common.  All things are new. We see everyone and everything as a part of Us–an inextricable whole that is Life and Love itself. This last for a year or two–perhaps longer if our needs continue to be met as we have then.  But as soon as there comes the perceptible space between our need and the fulfillment of that need we begin to experience ourselves as distinctly other–as something different and apart from everyone and everything else. And this is the beginning of common and ordinary experiences.  Wonder begins to recede. It is no longer seen in everything, but only in what we have never seen before.  All things are not new.  Only new things are.  And so we tire of what was and what is and we begin to long for something more.  All this time, this more we are looking for is so close that we can’t see it.  Our parents who were once seen as our heroes, become less exciting and rather than see them as a part of who we are, many of us begin to experience them as the very embodiment of restriction.  Emptiness takes place of fullness and we begin our search for a replacement for a love lost.

For a time we will fill this emptiness with sense gratifications of every kind.  But it will all get old.  Toys we once “loved” and could go nowhere without will find a new home in a box or an attic and only be looked at when in the process of getting rid of things.  Friends with whom we were once joined at the hip will find different interests.  Success in sports or academics or any other venture will cease to challenge us.  And at the end of some day, we will find ourselves wishing we were children again.  We will look back and scarcely remember that newness of life.  But somehow we know it is there.  Our desire for it is proof of its existence.  But the question remains, “how do we get back to it?” And the only answer is relationship.  We need a relationship that fulfills us–that makes everything else in life worth it.  We need new eyes through which to see ourselves and the world.  It is through those new eyes that we will be resurrected.  We will be made new.  And so we look for those eyes that will love us like we need to be loved and will see us as we desire to be seen.  Someone who anticipates our needs and loves us with a love that surpasses knowledge–just like we always felt our parents should have.  And plus we get to have sex with them and accumulate stuff.  What can be better?  When this happens, we will know that we are in love.

That is what this poem is about.  It is about that moment when we realize the we feel ourselves restored through the love of another–that feeling that somehow the love of another redeems all that we have lost through other relationships that somehow failed us.  It is an intense feeling that some people get addicted to.  Like drugs, alcohol, sex, and overworking this “feeling” produces a euphoria that takes us beyond ourselves and yet includes ourselves. In some way through this encounter we may temporarily feel like we even gained more of ourselves.  In their book, Getting the Love You WantHarville Hendrix and Helen Lakelly Hunt, note that many of the people they work with in healing romantic relationships, express how at the initial stage of relationship they experience themselves as having more energy and a healthier outlook on life.  Some say they felt wittier, more playful, and more optimistic. They even saw themselves as better looking when looking in the mirror.  On top of that, these relationships even empowered some people to give up other substitutes for gratification such as sweets, drugs, alcohol, or recreational sex.  There was even a decrease in overworking oneself or living simply for accumulating money.  At the height of this relationship, some people even radiated that good feeling out into the world and some even experienced greater spiritual awareness.  Sounds awesome huh?

Unfortunately like with any drug or addictive substance, there is the inevitable crash as most of us know all to well.  Some of us more than others.  Speaking for myself, I can say that I absolutely loved my prior wives.  I still do in fact.  I though it was awesome when we were experience each other like we were high. And the fact is we were high.  That’s what falling in romantic love is.  It is getting high off of someone else’s affection.  I know that doesn’t sound very romantic, but if you compare it to any other activity that we participate in to feel better, very few people can refute this.  And that is where I differ from a lot of people on this subject of being in love.  Growing up in a household of divorce, I realized that I had a choice between experiencing our family situation as it was and accepting that it was the best condition for me as a spiritual being evolving into higher consciousness or I could continue to compare it to what I thought it could be or was “supposed to have been” and suffer needlessly.  I chose to accept the variety of family situations in the world as just another part of the diversity of the mysterious Creation rather than assume an entitlement to domestic homogeneity likened to the Huxtables.  Therefore when the high wore off in my relationships, I did not feel the sense of urgency that my partners felt.  I was grateful for how long it lasted and excepted as a gift from God.

What I imagined, was that the initial feeling was a preview of what was possible if we each sought to understand the belief that such a feeling would  last.  If we could follow that feeling to its source, then perhaps we could access it more often.  In other words, that initial euphoria was just a foretaste.  We’d have to work for it if we wanted it more often.  This sounds familiar to people who have ever been introduced to anything new–like drugs.  The first taste is free.  After that it is going to cost you.  I know this might not be an easy pill to swallow, but unless you’ve experienced otherwise, I am sticking to what I know, have witnessed, and have experienced.  But like I said, this isn’t the most romantic point of view and it was one my partners could not buy.  They wanted to get back to a feeling that would never return–like we all do when we look back on our younger days.

Had I understood what they were looking for then, perhaps I would have done a better job of expressing my love for them.  I failed there.  As there partner and friend I could have done more to sympathize with their sense of loss of the dream that I would somehow make up for all of their other losses.  Instead I said something to the effect of, “What?  You thought this was going to last?  Heck no.  The beginning of a relationship is like being on vacation.  Everything else is like working so you can go on vacation again.  What made you think I was going to make up for your relationship with your parents and exes?  I’m not God. I can’t fulfill you. How about I go to God and you go to God and then we can meet up somewhere as two fulfilled beings instead of trying to get the impossible from each other?”  See.  Not very romantic. In those first two relationships I tried to talk them out of feeling that “feeling” because I didn’t want to be a drug.  But what I realized over time was that we could have worked with that desire together.

As I matured through my failures in interpersonal relationships, I realized what I mentioned above–that desire for this fulfilling love comes from a place in us that already knows what Paul was talking about in his prayer.  We in fact were created by and through that Love.  Without getting too religious for some of you, I think John said it best when he wrote that God is love and that one day we would see that we are like God.  In other words, the love that we compare all of our relationships to is the Love that we are.  We know that we can receive this Love first and foremost because we know that we are capable of giving that Love.  Perhaps that is why Jesus taught that it is more blessed to give than receive.  Because we are in Love when we give love.  With that being said, know that I Love You and that this chapter is my contribution to you knowing yourself as Love.