The Wages of Skin

I’m sorry I apologized
When I was just being me
I was just a slave
Who falsely thought I was free

But now that I’m seeing more clearly
This is what I meant to say
Kiss my grits
And get the H-E double hockey stick out my way

I think you get my point
Without me going to extremes
I could say it a little harder
But it wouldn’t change an ounce of what it means

Besides if my dead grandmother were here
And heard me talk to you like that
She’d slap the taste right out my mouth
And give all my apologies back

See, the worst things in life are often inherited
Taught to fear in the name of survival
Illusions of superiority
Cloaked in the excuse that we’re all tribal

We say those before us committed the crimes
But we choose to pay the price
So when we accept the earnings of an unjust cause
The effect is our souls being sacrificed


Led Into Temptation

When I feel led into temptation

I know it’s not from You

It’s because I’m looking at other things

That are telling me what to do

Thank You that I’m not listening

But I must admit that it’s a challenge

I’m trying to stand on what You said

But it’s hard to keep my balance

I know serving You is a narrow path

That comes with all I need included

But when I begin to look at the outer world

I start wondering if I’m deluded

Sure You always have provided

Showed me things few would believe

But maybe it’s all coincidence

And I have actually been deceived

That’s what I start to tell myself

Whenever I want to take control

Strung along by my desires

Fantasies trying to take their hold

I’m now wrestling with the Cosmos

Corporeality’s got me pinned

I’m on the verge of tapping out

And that’s just when You tap in

The Work You do’s amazing

You’re literally all over the Place

Making One out of many breaks

Through the bending of time and space

Things that seemed to be for evil

All of a sudden becoming good

Doing things I never thought You’d do

But I imagine You knew You would

Or maybe you did it for me

In response to my condition

You saw the mess I was headed toward

So You made my life Your mission

Either way I can say You’ve saved me

Time and time again

Absorbing my temptation

Thereby leading me from sin

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

 

I Have Denied You

I can admit that I’ve denied You

No matter what I’ve tried to say

Even saying Your Name a thousand times

I deny you every day

I don’t do it on the surface

How I do it is undercover

Every time I refuse to love my neighbor

As if they were a sister or a brother

When I close my heart to a stranger

Who may be an angel unaware

I deny that You are The Presence

By pretending You’re not there

I tell myself I’m behind You

That I’m following in Your steps

But the reality is if I don’t give You all

Any credit I receive is theft

I don’t want to be a liar

But I am every time I speak

When I act as if I’m special

Or that my struggle’s are unique

From the least up to the greatest

The categories that we impose

Are just as false as separation

The lie out of which they all arose

It’s one of the things that keeps me distant

Whenever I make it real

Saying, “I feel like I can’t relate to You

Because You don’t know how I feel.”

But in truth You’re right here with me

In everything I do

And suddenly it becomes so very clear

I deny me when denying You

For in relationship I was formed

In communion I was conceived

You accepted me for who I would become

Even before I first believed

That’s why You can’t make me doubt You

I do that on my own

As soon as I open my mouth to say,

“I feel like I’m alone.”

For that has never been my reality

Nor has it been for any person

Endings begin with this very first sin

And from there they begin to worsen

“If I’m alone then no one loves me”

“If I’m alone I can’t cause pain”

But humans aren’t meant to be alone

So the very thought makes us insane

That’s why we’re constantly seeking approval

Causing drama to feel connected

Chasing our tails to personal hells

Because we can’t accept that we’re accepted

I’m sure we don’t want to do this

But we find it hard to fight this

I’m thinking about You at this very moment

And yet I deny You as I write this

 

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

 

 

 

There Are More Important Things

There are more important things

Than the ones that I am pondering

Thoughts that distract me from all that’s True

And lead my mind to wandering

There are more important things

Than what’s in and out of season

Than comparing myself to others

When there really is no reason

There are more important things

Than what I make up about tomorrow

Fearing a future that might not exist

Or repeating yesterday’s sorrow

There are more important things

Than achieving my desires

If getting what I think I want

Means in truth I yield to liars

There are more important things

Than getting someone to love me

If in doing so I lose myself

And put that one above me

There are more important things

Than living a life of pleasure

If at the end of it I’ve torn your soul

And can’t get it back together

There are more important things

Than what I call religion

If I only use it as a set of rules

Without seeking its deeper vision

There are more important things

Than being protected from what I fear

Since it seems that trying to run from it

Has only served to draw it near

There are more important things

Than me seeking after wins

Since the race isn’t always for the swift

Or for the one with fewer sins

There are more important things

Than always being right

Since almost everything is relative

When seen in a different light

Yes, there are more important things

But what they are I do not know

So I occupy myself with this vanity

Until I’m forced to let it go

 

 

 

Sinnovation

Imagine a world without Sin.
What kind of world would it be
If there was no such thing as wrong
And right was all that we could be?

There would be no one to judge us
No crimes we could commit
It would just be one big free for all
No forgive and no forget

The ones with all the resources
Could just keep on taking more
They could screw over future generations
And just forget about the poor

The ones who have the least
Could make a big deal about the scraps
And never work together
So they become each others’ traps

The ones who claim to love the world
Can live off self-congratulations
While seeking to stay in comfort
So that no one tests their patience

Politicians can flap their gums
Saying what we hoped they say
Then when they fail to live the dream
We all can look the other way

Pundits can make a million bucks
Just for talking out of their ass
Then party with the one percent
While claiming to be middle class

Religionists can live guilt free
Because this world is not their home
And those who don’t believe in God
Can create religions or their own

Poets can stand on the side lines
Judging what they see
Thinking while they speak in rhyme
“Please no one look at me.”

Hey, this is starting to sound familiar
Kind of sounds like the world we’re in
That makes it more convenient
Just to do away with Sin.

Everything is awesome
No one really needs correction
Who needs to think of right and wrong
When we have egos for protection?

I can tell myself almost anything
Then convince myself it’s true
And I don’t have to be responsible
If the enemy is you

This system is ingenious
It’s a win-win situation
We can make it a sin to say there’s Sin
Now that’s what I call Sinnovation

It’s the ultimate invention
And we all are benefitting
Even losers win in the game of Sin
It’s high stakes, but we’re all betting

Do you think it’s not that simple?
Well that’s just another lie
Just replace religious statements with fashion ones
And soon you will see why.

You see everything has a standard
A bunch of made up rules
And if you fall outside them
Certain tempers will get fueled

There’s a way to be from your town
Or be a fan of a local team
There’s even a way to be countercultural
All of you know just what I mean

You know because you’re in the priesthood
Of the standards that you uphold
Even if your standard is to have no standard
To you there’s a way that that unfolds

We want things to go the “right way”
Which is the way inside our heads
So when things just go the way they go
We think that they went wrong instead

Such is the way of made up standards
That we hate but seem to need
And that’s why we can’t be free from Sin
Without a true Standard to intercede

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II