Expression – Page 3 – It's All In Me

This Is Not a Poem

June 6, 2015 Higher Up IDEALSLeave a comment

This is not a poem

Despite the rhyming and construction

This is what the critic says

Because it doesn’t follow the poem’s function

I have to show you the dilemma

You have to struggle to understand me

You have to encounter the limitations

Of what a “good poem” can and can’t be

Clever lines don’t make it poetry

Despite conveying my intention

Good poetry has to stick to the rules

And be the result of pure invention

Please don’t come with inspiration

Don’t express in your own style

Don’t emerge with your own cadence

March in step and single file

Try to sound like someone famous

Do not always write in rhyme

People cry for peace

Meanwhile they are dropping bombs

Dead men can’t start wars

I just dropped some haiku lines

But maybe that isn’t poetry

I’ll ask an expert. They will know.

Or maybe they just know what poems are not

“Iambic pentameter is the purest flow”

Truthfully it doesn’t matter

If it isn’t poetry, I’d still be writing

I’d just be calling it something else

And in its expression be delighting

Not simply because I wrote it

But because it’s emerging from Creation

Like a flower that offers fragrance

What I give’s my participation

Whether beautiful or ugly

Lyrically strong or suffering weakness

What I bring forth is what I’m called to give

From the Universe’s unlimited uniqueness

For if I don’t shine the light I’m given

I am a thief and what’s more a liar

And claiming that I am not received

Is no excuse for quenching fire

So call it what you will

I will do what I must do

My words may fail, but I won’t hold back

It might not be poetry, but it’s true

Sadness v. Anger

June 2, 2015 Higher Up IDEALSLeave a comment

When faced with sadness v. anger

I find it very hard to choose

Because no matter who I side with

It seems someone has to lose

If I decide to go with sadness

It’s like a path to self destruction

Bottling up what is going on

Which begins to effect the way I function

With a less than upbeat countenance

People soon begin to notice

A thousand thoughts going through my mind

Making it a challenge to keep my focus

Soon acquaintances are always checking in

Trying to see if I’m okay

But before I explain what’s on my mind

Their minds begin turning the other way

Which only makes me sadder

I should’ve kept my problems to myself

Few people want to see the pain they hide

Reflected in the face of someone else

“Aren’t we all supposed to be happy

All the blanking time”

A thought that’s so unsettling

That I start to cross the anger line

But here’s the thing about our anger

On the surface it feels so freeing

But spending too much time with it

Can make you a different human being

See with sadness we feel like we should improve

It leads to the gate of our frustration

Where with anger it only feeds itself

On the fuel of justification

We feel it’s a right to have some anger

To feel it is not unique

Some would even say that it’s in vogue

Competing with stress for what’s more chic

Anger gets you some respect

Which in a way can be addicting

Unlike sadness which often comes with shame

Or guilt which is itself restricting

Anger seems to have your back

While sadness only takes you down

You can have an honest laugh with anger

But sadness is better expressed with frowns

People will support you in your anger

With sadness they push away the feeling

We can take our anger to increasing levels

But sadness has to have a ceiling

Maybe it’s because anger’s more entertaining

It makes for a better story

The angry teams walks away with gold

The sad team looking worse outside their glory

We even can accept an angry god

Before we can accept a god who’s sad

Even when meeting God whose name is Love

We anticipate god, the abusive dad

For a loving God knows sadness

This is also the God who cries

But a God who suffers is a God we resist

For this is a God to Whom we’re obliged

For if God suffers we’re never alone

If God endures we’re not in danger

For a God who relates to how we feel

Takes away the righteousness of our anger

We see our pain in context

Through the rending of this veil

We see that when we choose to separate

We are the authors of our own betrayal

Because as long as we are angry

We can’t choose reconciliation

The only way back to our more whole selves

Restored from humiliation

You see healing requires sadness

Even if anger’s our first decision

Because sadness means our heart still has some hope

And has not surrendered to division

Now accepting this isn’t easy

Anger is truly a sweet temptation

But in the end it proves a hopeless endeavor

That only persists in separation

Nothing Is What It Seems

May 29, 2015 Higher Up IDEALS1 Comment

Nothing is what it seems

There’s always something underneath

Hidden worlds in every event

Taking action to be released

All you might see is what’s in front of you

Meanwhile a mystery unfolds

While you’re focusing on the “important things”

Secret stories are being told

Like the alarm that you just slept through

That will you make late to that early meeting

You will experience as an inconvenience

When in truth it’s an Angel’s greeting

Or that relationship that ended

That you thought would be forever

May be causing you a lot of pain right now

But it would be worse if you stayed together

Or what about that job of yours

That leaves you daily stressing

You think it’s about how much you’re paid

When it’s about how much you’re blessing

Your child who will not listen

That one who never stops debating

May be getting on your very last nerve

But you don’t know what they’re cultivating

This is what I remind myself

When things don’t seem to go my way

That God is shaping something in my soul

That is not always on display

And this isn’t true for only me

But for everyone around me

Even the people I consider not so nice

May have souls that would astound me

That’s why Abba tells me not to judge

My sisters and my brothers

Because we might see what our bodies do

But most times we can’t see each other

Of course you may not like this line of thought

I’m not suggesting that you should

All I want to do is encourage you

Because there is underlying good

It may be difficult to fathom

Especially when looking at the past

But even if everything went your way

It still was never meant to last

This world is like an incubator

That’s meant to help us build our strength

Not a place for us to make a home

Or seek to stay beyond its length

And everything that happens here

Is always more than it appears

Because we’re learning how to better choose

Between what’s from joy and what’s from fears

We’re being prepared for our true nature

That was not meant to stay in time

We are practicing being human

So we can handle what is Divine

I Have Denied You

May 25, 2015 Higher Up IDEALSLeave a comment

I can admit that I’ve denied You

No matter what I’ve tried to say

Even saying Your Name a thousand times

I deny you every day

I don’t do it on the surface

How I do it is undercover

Every time I refuse to love my neighbor

As if they were a sister or a brother

When I close my heart to a stranger

Who may be an angel unaware

I deny that You are The Presence

By pretending You’re not there

I tell myself I’m behind You

That I’m following in Your steps

But the reality is if I don’t give You all

Any credit I receive is theft

I don’t want to be a liar

But I am every time I speak

When I act as if I’m special

Or that my struggle’s are unique

From the least up to the greatest

The categories that we impose

Are just as false as separation

The lie out of which they all arose

It’s one of the things that keeps me distant

Whenever I make it real

Saying, “I feel like I can’t relate to You

Because You don’t know how I feel.”

But in truth You’re right here with me

In everything I do

And suddenly it becomes so very clear

I deny me when denying You

For in relationship I was formed

In communion I was conceived

You accepted me for who I would become

Even before I first believed

That’s why You can’t make me doubt You

I do that on my own

As soon as I open my mouth to say,

“I feel like I’m alone.”

For that has never been my reality

Nor has it been for any person

Endings begin with this very first sin

And from there they begin to worsen

“If I’m alone then no one loves me”

“If I’m alone I can’t cause pain”

But humans aren’t meant to be alone

So the very thought makes us insane

That’s why we’re constantly seeking approval

Causing drama to feel connected

Chasing our tails to personal hells

Because we can’t accept that we’re accepted

I’m sure we don’t want to do this

But we find it hard to fight this

I’m thinking about You at this very moment

And yet I deny You as I write this

Everything and Then Some

May 19, 2015 Higher Up IDEALSLeave a comment

When someone asks you to prove your love,

You better prepare to die

Anything less is just holding back

In this beholder’s eye

Though they do not think they’re worthy

They want you to make them feel they are

But no matter how much you offer them

They won’t believe it without your scars

They want to see you bleed

They want you to give it all away

How much your heart has love for them

Is the last thing they demand you say

Your last words should be a testament

To how much they mean to you

But they’ll find a reason to doubt it

No matter what you do

On them the sun should rise

On them the sun should set

Give yourself to anything else

And their whole world will be upset

Even if it’s your own children

Or your faith in your religion

Any focus that is not on them

In their minds will cause division

They will say it’s because they love you

But this can’t be further from the truth

Because if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from love

Is that it never asks for proof

It gives with no thought of getting

It’s sole hope is that we receive

And even after we’ve denied it thrice

We find Love is the One who grieves

Abandoned and abused

Love still keeps us in its prayers

Compelling us to fulfillment

While we are focused on other cares

Love is so relentless

That it will even refuse to die

Coming back to bless its murderers

Despite this fact we still deny

Love forgives us before we seek it

Keeps its promises while we’re debating

And when we arrive in the hells that we create

We find Love is right there waiting

What Is Your Name?

May 9, 2015 Higher Up IDEALSLeave a comment

The day we were born we were given a name

That may not be our own

A signal for people to get our attention

And pull us out of the zone

In time the name’s defining

When people hear it they think of you

Attaching thoughts and judgments

Regardless of if they’re true

Sometimes this is in our favor

Other times it takes us down

The name signaling who we used to be

But negating who we are now

And what if the name we’re given

Was attached to another person first

So that people projected that one on us

From the moment of our birth

Well that hardly can be called fair

It’s like we never had a chance

First having to assert that we’re not them

Before we can ever take our stance

For some this is a challenge

We cannot be that strong

To resist how people are shaping us

With the thoughts that we are wrong

It’s like any definition

We are limited by what we’re called

Unless we transcend all definitions

By assuming the Name that can exalt

It’s a name given in secret

By the Name above all names

That within contains the very fullness

Of the Origins from which we came

This Name does not define us

It simply reminds us of who we are

Disintegrating any thought that we are less

Than that which shapes the stars

Sometimes the name we’re given

Is the first lie we’re ever told

The life we live subsequently

Is just watching the lies unfold

But we do not have to claim this

Just because that’s all we know

Just ask Hashem who we really are

Then let the you that’s not you go

Ask the Creator what your Name is

Then live into the highest vision

Day by day receiving clues

Until you come into recognition

Then one day you will know it

The Name that’s truly you

Live this Name within your heart of hearts

Until your transformation comes into view

That’s when you are living the revelation

Knowing the eternal you as you are known

Freed from the limits of temporal judgments

Attached to a name that was not your own

The One You Seek Is Seeking You

April 26, 2015February 26, 2023 Higher Up IDEALS1 Comment

The One for Whom we think we’re seeking
Is the One who sought us first
For we begin as a thought in the Eternal Mind
Before descending into birth
Personality, pursuits, and power plays
Had not yet even been conceived
But being formed in the “Always Is”
All we will be is achieved
Being fashioned out of what cannot be grasped
We cannot fathom the depths of Being
Or the heights to which we’re being led
If we surrender to Truer Seeing
God seeks us not to catch us
But to release us into Life
By first stripping us of all we’re really not
So that the real us comes to light
But the reason that ww keep running
Is because what we fear that we might lose
We think that the life we’re making up
Is the only life that we can choose
We subscribe to false conditions
Thus becoming what is prescribed
Most conforming to illusion
Not knowing it’s based on lies
Even the god that we’re pursuing
Is rarely the God that truly Lives
Because any god that we can grasp
Has limits on what it gives
The God who seeks is ever giving
And from this giving emerges pleasure
We accept our need and God will give
That’s what keeps us all together
God’s Spirit pouring out
Gives our God the greatest joy
So every Word that ushers forth
Will never ever come back void
Even the slightest little whisper
God will seek with all abandon
Calling it back to its Wholly Source
Where no other creation can ever stand in
Once we’re found by Our Creator
We come to know what’s known by few
That the God who seeks is the God who finds
The God inside of you
Some of you might call this blasphemy
But not because of why you say
It’s really because a god who is not in you
Is a God you can keep away
Some of us wonder where God is hiding
We ask “Where can this God be?”
Not imagining that God’s invisibility
Comes from being too close to see
And thus we do so little seeking
So thank God we can be found
Just by choosing to get so very still
And trusting that God is all around

This Side of the Resurrection

April 23, 2015 Higher Up IDEALS1 Comment

This body that you see

Is merely an appearance

My truest body is doing work

While this one is running interference

In reality you can’t see me

Despite the fact that you think you do

But what you see is just a shadow

That somehow the Light is shining through

Yes, I know that is impossible

According to the laws that you call physics

But our laws are just a theory

To the One in Whom Light’s intrinsic

To the One there is no darkness

They simply turn it inside out

So that the vibrations become reflective

What was within now shines without

It’s something like electric

But with the absence of the static

Transforming so very instantly

That it’s faster than automatic

As it was in the Beginning

Has nothing on what’s eternal

The Being before existence

This Fire consumes before it burns you

All the dross that’s left behind

Is everything we were attached to

Revealing on the other side

That the lies could not dispatch you

Playing the hostage to a lie

We live lives that are not our own

Putting our principle interest

On a body that in truth is just a loan

This is not the true intention

Of assuming this expression

The goal is to know as we are known

Through the releasing of our regression

Going backward to take us forward

To lead us to where we never left

Is the path of least persistence

In the realm where there is no death

Unlimited Power

April 4, 2015April 4, 2015 Higher Up IDEALS1 Comment

Look at the tip of your finger

What is it that you see?

That which appears to be absent

Is exactly what holds the key

All that is in the visible

Has the unseen as its Source

The finest formless substance

Passing through into the coarse

Even though you cannot see it

The world is at your finger tips

Every possible frequency in a single point

All that ever will exist

Every movement bound in stillness

Until someone calls into the temporal

Instantly the command starts taking shape

It really is that simple

It all is living within us

What we hope for and what we fear.

We’re just chasing what we’re projecting

And that’s what brought us to the so called “here”

We were given unlimited power

To create anything in an instance

But for reasons that I’ll now explain,

All we chose to make was distance

Like a child who wants attention

We rebelled for our own space

While hoping that before we got too far

The Creator would give us chase

But the Creator just kept creating

Busy keeping everything in tune

So we decided to run as far as we could go

But to the Creator we’re in the room

You see, Omnipresence is inconvenient

If one wants to get away

Because as soon as you arrive at “somewhere else”

You realize you are where you always stayed

Some of us have accepted this

We no longer try to run

And we no longer chase our siblings

Instead we shine with the Present Son

That doesn’t mean that we’re not struggling

Perhaps we’re struggling even more

Because now we are completely powerless

That’s what we know we need Him for

We had exhausted every possibility

To create ourselves in our own image

Until we had nothing left in us to fight

And we thought that we were finished

Like a branch cut off from the Vine

We eventually began to wither

We could not be a Source unto ourselves

So to live we called the Giver

Instantly the Giver gave

But we took our time in our receiving

We had put so much into making our own space

That we were out of practice with believing

We needed an example

To remind us what to do

To humble ourselves accordingly

So the Power can come through

So the Son who lives eternally

Entered the dream of days and hours

So we can see Him though He’s invisible

That’s how He connects us to our Power

The more that we surrender

The clearer it is to see

That the Spirit has never left us

No matter how much we’ve tried to flee

That’s the Way of this Wondrous Power

It can be rejected but not denied

Capable of bringing back to Life

Even those of us who died

The Inauthentic self

April 2, 2015April 2, 2015 Higher Up IDEALS2 Comments

The Authentic One has no self

There never is an “I”

Knowing there’s no such thing as Death

One never owns this lie

All One ever knows is Being

In fact One is the only Beer

The Source of every vision born of Truth

One can be the only Seer

The “I” that isn’t blind

Sees not what is before it

Dividing what’s One into separate selves

And then trying to restore it

It’s the oldest trick in the book of ego

Designed to make the “I” the savior

By creating dangers that do not exist

In an effort to control behavior

In an effort to be special

In an effort to be the best

In an effort to succeed no matter what the costs

And to rise above the rest

But take away the effort

And here is what you’ll find

All the doings that we thought were done

Do not exist outside the mind

I don’t know a way to tell you this

Without it sounding like a threat

To all that we’ve accomplished

Or the things we haven’t finished yet

But on the other side of what we think we do

There are worlds coming into being

Some of which are binding us

Others forever freeing

It’s a paradox of paradox

Quite impossible to prove it

Founded on the Yeshua principle

Those who gain their lives will lose it

I know that this sounds crazy

But here is something crazier still

Everything that’s keeping you from You

Isn’t even real

I know that you can feel this

You can sense that it’s the Truth

Because within you is the Godhead

So that there is no excuse

But this is something we’re denying

And there’s just a single reason why

If we accept the Truth of who we are

We can no longer be the “I”

And suddenly there’s no “them”

We’s the only life that’s True

Making all of “them” as innocent

As you are for what you do

Holy freakin’ moly

This kind of thinking will blow your mind

Until you no longer have one

That can operate in time

Then that’s when you will see It

From the eternal point of view

That the Mind of Christ that lives in Yesh

Is the only Mind of the Authentic You