What Artists Reveal (WAR)

There’s a war happening
There’s a war happening 
In the Artist’s heart in All Ways
There’s a War Happening 
War of the worlds 
War inside
Collateral damage 
Even if no one dies
There’s an internal battle
When a baby cries
Hunger and no food
Creates a world of lies
Open your eyes
It’s not just me that’s singing
It’s an entire Universe 
Of controlled screaming
Destroying ourselves 
Just to find meaning
I defy meaning
With my dreaming
Because there’s a war happening
There’s a war happening
In the Artist’s heart in All Ways
There’s a War Happening
Artists exist
To control the chaos
But the irony is 
They don’t want to pay us
When tyranny comes 
First thing they do is take us
But we just keep creating
As they all forsake us
We’re springs of creation
They cannot remake us
Transmitting love
To even those who hate us
There’s no argument 
They cannot debate us
Proof of God’s Love
Is that God creates us
We just surrendered to the fact
That we can’t create ourselves
Then miraculously
We can create ourselves
Given the authority 
To transform our hells
These prison walls 
Are no more our cells
Our presence is the secret
That no one tells
The holes in our hearts 
Have become our wells
And it’s from these wells
That your soul’s drinking
Thoughts become things
So we’re not thinking 
We live by inspiration
We only move when still
Translating silence
To express our will
Channeling frustrations
So the truth’s revealed 
And we’ll keep on creating
Until the world is healed

© Copyright 2024 Pedro Senhorinha Silva

In an upcoming article for the People Are Not Things Linkedin Newsletter, in reflection on a training I was just a part of in DC, I will examine the role art plays in creating new models for human compatibility and flourishing even in the face what could appear to be imminent institutional collapse. In addition to the folks present at the convening, I was inspired by Asha Romeo (https://www.asharomeo.com/) to write this piece and use AI to create this image. Asha sang the hook on my rap single, Take This Life (Make It Light) and sang for several services when I was a pastor to include the final song on my last Sunday. She is a singular talent with amazing musical range. She will soon be relocating from our neighborhood to LA to pursue her music career.

When I thought about her journey as a child from a small town named Gondar in Ethiopia to Boulder, CO and how because of that journey this community has been filled with music that would have not otherwise been here, I realized something about art that I had never considered before. Artist transmute chaos into culture. Even when I think of my own artistic expressions, I know them to be the result of wrestling with a lifetime of polarizing tensions that through inner struggle show up in the word as–at least semi-coherent–expressions of the underlying harmony that I believe turns potential danger into a potent dance with what could be considered conflicting loyalties.

Mindful of this, in this poem, I wanted to celebrate what she and other artists bring to our spaces by bending chaos to their creative will. Without them, where would we be? And more than that, I want to encourage each of us to tap into the artist that lives in each of us. I hypothesize that much of the challenges that we are experiencing in many of our social landscapes is because of unmetabolized traumatic experiences that work themselves out in our interactions with others on every level from interpersonal to international. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. With artistry, we can choose to create systems that works better for more people.

Take This Life (Make It Light) [https://youtu.be/pMVTFt5cYk4?si=KtoVSqVXh0-u4Z13]

Body of Evidence

Looking out into the distance
I wonder what is beyond the horizon
Out in the yard, we build our outer strength
To prepare for the war that’s waged within
“I am worthy”
For my body tells me so
And all I am here is a body
A body of evidence
A body of work
A body made for work
Nothing more and nothing less than a body
I just am what I am
And no one gives a damn
They don’t want to understand
That more than a body of work, I am
A Body of Intelligence
A Body formed and informed by Divine Intelligence
The same Intelligence that created the stars
Made maps of my scars
Came near from afar
And drew closer to me than breathing
Made knowledge out of my believing
Taught me that giving is receiving
Never forsaking or leaving
Grief more intimate than all my grieving
Descending into the depths
Soul bleeding
On the mission of retrieving
The part of me I lost
When I believed that all I am is a body
A body of evidence
A body of work
A body made for work
But I am more than a body
I am somebody
A member of the One Body
Undeniably valuable
By the virtue of my being
My eyes are now seeing
Beyond the horizon
Noticing now
What I couldn’t see before
There is no wall
There is no door
There is no one keeping score
I am imprisoned no more
But I am not free
For I am my brother and sister’s keeper
And giving is receiving
I can go but I’m not leaving
Until you see what I see
We are somebody
A member of the One Body
Undeniably valuable
By the virtue of our BEing
A Body of Evidence
A Body of Work
A Body made for the Work
Of giving form to the Divine Intelligence
The same Intelligence that created the stars
Made maps of our scars
Came near from afar
And drew closer to us than breathing
So that seeing can become believing
Joy can replace grieving
When one leaves we’re all leaving
Going out beyond the Horizon
To discover what we were made for
Amen

©️ Copyright 2024 Pedro Senhorinha Silva

Photo by Kirt Morris on Unsplash

Listen Once and For All

Listen
Without words
To what can only be spoken
With Silence
There is no loss
There is no gain
In the Place where Love is Home
Like the top of the inhale
And the bottom of the exhale
Where in and out are One
And coming and going cease to be
There resides the thought
That tells you what you already know
You are more than enough
And worthy of all Creation
Here is where
In Silence you hear
The Voice of the voiceless
Noiselessly shouting
Everything I Am
Is Communicating
To Everything You Are
Telling You
Once and for All
We have Everything We need
When We have each Other

Grief is a Midwife

Grief is a midwife, giving birth to who we’d never be without loss’ seed.
Realizing that you’ll never again be who you used to be makes room for who you are becoming
So let yourself weep. Be emptied of who you’ve been
Because someone wiser, more capable, and more honest is waiting to emerge
Everything you held back, waiting for the right time can be released from its temporal prison
The time to be who you were created to be is always now
And yet, in the realm of human relating, there is always an order
First the mother and the father, then comes the child is the way it is written
But also true, is that before mother, father, or child took residence in the womb, they were wholly conceived and fully known in infinity
BEING from the beginning AND dwelling in time is the Spiritual reality of those who embrace the human reality that in this life we must learn to hold grief in one hand and joy in the other
So grieve as you must, tremble with the pangs of rebirth
It is the falling away of who you can no longer be
So that who you’ve always been can come to LIFE

© Copyright 2023 Pedro S. Silva II

In my last poem, Higher Dimensions, I mentioned that my friend, Bishop Carlton Pearson was sick. Well, a few days ago on November 19, he died. Since that moment, I have been going through the 5 Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D. pretty much in exact order and quick succession.

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

I don’t know if I am going through them in an orderly fashion because I know of them or because they are natural. Either way, I am going through them without resistance and telling everyone that I am meeting up with in person during this holiday season that if I go in and out and look disinterested it is because I am grieving someone I felt very close to.

The Sixth Stage of Grief
The poem above is part of the lesser known sixth stage of grief by David Kessler, Finding Meaning. In the text below from Carlton, he was ministering to me in my grief about leaving ministry. But, I find that it is equally applicable for grieving him.

I have been holding back so much over the years because I didn’t feel like I could bear to relive the rejection I received from the Pentecostal church I was a part of years ago. I met Carlton in the height of his rejection and the scarring over of mine. For a season I had easy access to him because many in his life had turned on him. In that time, we talked out all we had endured and marveled at how our lives mirrored each other even down to both of our wives working for airlines and the adventure of flying on standby. It was kind of uncanny. What differed was that he still wanted to go back to the folks who rejected him and make plain what he had not fully been able to articulate at his dismissal. I did not. I only wanted to talk to people who indicated their openness. And that’s where our paths diverged.

Now that he’s gone in the body, I’ve been trying to make meaning of the last couple of years. He was way busier and folks who formerly rejected him started popping back in. He was terribly hurt by Trumpism and how easily evangelicals surrendered to this so called “strongman” and seemingly put him on par with the Christ Carlton loved so much. He was trying to reconcile how he gave so much of his life to that expression of Christianity and how in some ways he felt complicit in many folks, especially Black folks, believing such painful doctrine. He wanted to make up for it. And in that way, he was like a modern day Paul of Tarsus trying to preach his new understanding of Christ.

I totally understood AND I couldn’t get into it with people who didn’t want to meet even halfway. Twice in his life, he gave up everything for his love of God and people. The first time it almost cost him his life. The second time, it did.

Even though I foresee myself writing out a lot of words in my grief processing, words can’t begin to express the contribution this man has been to human evolution in consciousness. I predict that we’ll be discussing him for generations. As for now, I’m going to keep talking to him in my heart and writing my way into who I’m becoming.

Joy Spills Out

Day 115 of 365

This feeling has just come over me
But, I cannot explain it
It is calling me outside of myself
And I cannot contain it
Like liquid light if it moved through space
All of me is filling
And I am called to go outside
To share everything that’s spilling
Is this the Living Waters?
Am I made to be a fountain?
Facing down as I’m going up
Like walking backwards up a mountain
I can feel that I am changing
Into someone I didn’t plan to be
Opening eyes that once were closed
To show me who I am to see
It’s like looking into a mirror
And seeing countless images emerging
Then accepting that none of them are me
As a condition of my purging
Then the last one speaks, and says to me,
“What you received you have to give
Generosity is the flow of life
And the only way to truly live
So consider yourself as empty
For the sake of receiving more
Than one lifetime could ever hold
So, feel free as you explore
Release the fear of losing
Because there’s nothing left to gain
The joy you wanted to hold onto
Was never meant to be contained.”

Image by Vale Zmeykov on Unsplash

Poem inspired by a conversation with Douglas Abrams co-author of The Book of Joy with His Holiness, the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Brought to the Boulder Public Library through the support of the Boulder Library Foundation.

If you would like to follow my poetry journey to share 365 poems, follow me on Instagram.

Light and Dark

Day 75 of 365

I despise the fact that you make me necessary
And yet I love you because I’m here
But I am pained by watching you on your path
Knowing I’m powerless to interfere
In your weakness I find my strength
Though it is the last thing on my mind
Your emptiness gives me a place to fill
But this too will end with time
In this place we are often seen as enemies
In Truth, together we express the One
Because you’re insecure, I must show I’m not
Just as darkness creates a need for Sun
You are my partner that I cannot work with
Bound together by what keeps us apart
Although we’ll never occupy each other’s space
We’ve been together from the start.

Image by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Somehow We’ve All Been Deceived By the Impossible Illusion That Oneness Can Be Two

I am not your enemy
Even though you were taught that decision
I see the Universe as it can only be
Absent of division
Whether I choose to agree or not
Everything is connected
But in the illusion of the divided mind
Anything can be dissected
We split atoms and we split up families
Draw invisible lines called borders
But can’t admit we invented it
In a war against natural order
Somehow we believe the lies we tell
More than the truth that’s in our faces
Competing for what is infinite
Just for the thrill of “winning races”
But there is no competition
Once you take away the lies
And wake up to the disturbing fact
That we’re all collectively hypnotized

Photo ironically by CottonBro Studios 😮

A Cloak of Shadows

We all entered this given world
Shining ever so brightly
Until we were handed a cloak of shadows
And were taught to take our shining lightly
The shadow cloaks that we are given
Are all different, but the same
Put on by people who we’re born to trust
But started lying with our name
They called us a moniker we didn’t choose
That made them feel a certain way
Perhaps a projection of someone’s past
That we’re expected to display
Rather than get to know us
And discover who we are
They tell us who we’re supposed to be
And complain if we stray far
But it’s not that I’m trying to blame them
They did what they knew to do
Because before they projected onto us
They were cloaked in shadows too
They too were forced into a box
Aimed to maintain society
They believed the lies that were told to them
Before they ever lied to me
Some were told the lie that they were best
When compared to other people
While some were told that they are worst
And must forever work at achieving equal
But, both these states are lies
There’s no one above or below another
And the truth is there’s no shadow here
That another’s light cannot uncover
You see all of us were meant to shine
So that this world won’t be in dark
And each of us has the work to do
Of dissolving shadows with our spark
In so doing we don’t just free ourselves
We free all who came before
Until the world is filled with shining lights
Who wear shadow cloaks no more

Photo by Sunny Tank on scop.io

How to See in the Dark

I’m weak
And I’m not afraid to admit it
And in this I find my strength
Though many will not get it
I’m broken
In all the right places
Accepting what is
Gives me the power to truly face this
I’m ignorant
I don’t know what the deal is
Which gives me the eyes to see
The reality of what real is
I’m helpless
I can do nothing on my own
Which is why I ask for help
From the One who is my Home
So, I’m hopeful
That I will wake while we are dreaming
Seeing in the dark
To the essence of our being

Photo by Amin tn

For 28 Days

For 28 days
More people pay attention
To stories less told
Or that hardly get mentioned
Some get repeated
Just as before
About bridges and buses
And who’s here no more
For 28 days
We acknowledge the challenge
That healing can’t happen
If we ignore the damage
And for 28 days
We try to do better
By telling ourselves
That we’re in this together
But on the 29th day
Or on a leap year it’s thirty
Some forget once again
And stop getting hands dirty
Then for 337 days
Their memories fade
Until a tragedy happens
And we go into rage
Then we’re back to day one
Wondering how did this happen
Repeating the stories
We’re perpetually trapped in