Category: Belonging

This Is My Body

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You don’t get to tell me
That I am not who I am
You will never know me
If you are using you
As a frame of reference
You haven’t been through what I’ve been through
Held what I am holding
Grace in physical form
Giving better than what I was given
Because I believe in a myth that I need to be true
Forgive them for they know not what they do
I want to be like you
Remembering even in the face of violence
This is my body
I choose how it feels
Regardless of others’ projections
Regardless of their rejection
With or without protection
This is my body
I will be who I will to be
Because no one knows this body but me
And those with whom I choose to share it
Becoming One
This is our body
These are our bodies
Broken for each other
By one another
Healed by the Lover
Now we are One Body
No longer broken
Life created by Words spoken
My body is your body
Your body is my body
Every Body and No Body
Can be Any Body
When we break
But don’t shatter
Resurrect by Mind over matter
Choose the Former over the latter
Being made in the image of the One Body
Who births all bodies
Time and time again

© Copyright 2024 Pedro Senhorinha Silva

This poem will be featured at the event below. Click on the link below to learn more about the other poets. And if you are local to Boulder County, CO and want to join us, you can RSVP by going to this link.

The Cost of Discipleship

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When I feel like I don’t deserve what’s coming
I get tempted to run away
Often I make it to the door
But 95 percent of the time I stay
The reason isn’t because I’ve gained some clarity
Or feel like I should be a screen for folk’s projection
It’s because I know that he didn’t run away
Which created the path to resurrection
All of us have been crucified before
It makes sense to want to escape it
But the power that’s on the other side
Only comes when we choose to face it
That doesn’t mean that you should be a victim
Or try to keep your abusers near
It simply means that only perfect love
Can cast out the toxicity of fear
You see this Universe has a crazy way
Of calling up what causes revulsion
Through a process that rarely goes away
It’s called repetition compulsion
That means even when we’ve been hurt before
We keep the patterns in our life
With the hope that one day we’ll learn the lesson
And handle the situation right
But that’s a peculiar kind of insanity
That makes us become what it is we hate
In a backwards way of trying to save ourselves
From the behavior that becomes our fate
That’s why I’d rather wind up dead sometimes
Than become what tried to destroy me
Efforting to cast out all my cares
So that the Creator can employ me
To most this sounds like a justification
Or an extreme version of denial
But to me I can’t return to innocence
If I never go on trial

© Copyright 2024 Pedro Senhorinha Silva

Body of Evidence

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Looking out into the distance
I wonder what is beyond the horizon
Out in the yard, we build our outer strength
To prepare for the war that’s waged within
“I am worthy”
For my body tells me so
And all I am here is a body
A body of evidence
A body of work
A body made for work
Nothing more and nothing less than a body
I just am what I am
And no one gives a damn
They don’t want to understand
That more than a body of work, I am
A Body of Intelligence
A Body formed and informed by Divine Intelligence
The same Intelligence that created the stars
Made maps of my scars
Came near from afar
And drew closer to me than breathing
Made knowledge out of my believing
Taught me that giving is receiving
Never forsaking or leaving
Grief more intimate than all my grieving
Descending into the depths
Soul bleeding
On the mission of retrieving
The part of me I lost
When I believed that all I am is a body
A body of evidence
A body of work
A body made for work
But I am more than a body
I am somebody
A member of the One Body
Undeniably valuable
By the virtue of my being
My eyes are now seeing
Beyond the horizon
Noticing now
What I couldn’t see before
There is no wall
There is no door
There is no one keeping score
I am imprisoned no more
But I am not free
For I am my brother and sister’s keeper
And giving is receiving
I can go but I’m not leaving
Until you see what I see
We are somebody
A member of the One Body
Undeniably valuable
By the virtue of our BEing
A Body of Evidence
A Body of Work
A Body made for the Work
Of giving form to the Divine Intelligence
The same Intelligence that created the stars
Made maps of our scars
Came near from afar
And drew closer to us than breathing
So that seeing can become believing
Joy can replace grieving
When one leaves we’re all leaving
Going out beyond the Horizon
To discover what we were made for
Amen

©️ Copyright 2024 Pedro Senhorinha Silva

Photo by Kirt Morris on Unsplash

Listen Once and For All

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Listen
Without words
To what can only be spoken
With Silence
There is no loss
There is no gain
In the Place where Love is Home
Like the top of the inhale
And the bottom of the exhale
Where in and out are One
And coming and going cease to be
There resides the thought
That tells you what you already know
You are more than enough
And worthy of all Creation
Here is where
In Silence you hear
The Voice of the voiceless
Noiselessly shouting
Everything I Am
Is Communicating
To Everything You Are
Telling You
Once and for All
We have Everything We need
When We have each Other

Surviving Heartbreak

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Day 104 of 365

You finally gave your heart away
The recipient returned to sender
Now you don’t want to ever hurt again
So you’re incapable of surrender
You barely survived the heartbreak
You say you can’t do it again
But if you don’t keep putting your heart at risk
Love will never win
I know it’s a dilemma
I’ve known that pain myself
If the first person thought I was not enough
How can I ever trust someone else?
There’s some validity to that logic
No one wants to suffer
But putting ourselves out there despite the risk
Is how we find each other
Besides holding back doesn’t hurt the one
Who caused you so much pain
In the end you only hurt yourself
By not giving your heart to gain
You see every time you survive a heartbreak
Then get back in the saddle
You’re secretly becoming more like God
Whose Love will never lose a battle
Didn’t you know that while God’s watching us
God’s heart is always breaking
But Love always comes in and fills the gaps
In the midst of our forsaking
Imagine if most of your children
Lie and say they love you
But take the gifts you have to them
And put those very things above you
You try to teach them to use them wisely
They push you away and will not listen
Only thinking of themselves as usual
They take what’s One and cause division
So you send them Love’s instructors
But they won’t listen to them either
Instead they ignore or murder them
Then label them deceiver
Or worse they pretend to worship them
In order to make them something special
And when they fail to live like them
They blame it on the Devil
Any excuse that they can think of
To do what they want to do
Their only goal is simply to feel they’re right
To justify ignoring you
Meanwhile your heart is breaking
You feel like you’ll die inside
But you surrender because you know the Truth
And instantly you’re more alive
It’s the Mystery of the Heartbreak
By giving your Love you will get more
For Love is the gift that you received
That by faith is always restored

Image by Jakob Rosen on Unsplash

Light and Dark

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Day 75 of 365

I despise the fact that you make me necessary
And yet I love you because I’m here
But I am pained by watching you on your path
Knowing I’m powerless to interfere
In your weakness I find my strength
Though it is the last thing on my mind
Your emptiness gives me a place to fill
But this too will end with time
In this place we are often seen as enemies
In Truth, together we express the One
Because you’re insecure, I must show I’m not
Just as darkness creates a need for Sun
You are my partner that I cannot work with
Bound together by what keeps us apart
Although we’ll never occupy each other’s space
We’ve been together from the start.

Image by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Being Me

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In an ocean of sound I lose myself
In the cacophony of my Silence
My mind is lost among the many more
And it feels like I’ll never find it
I’ve been me so long that I was convinced
That my reality can’t be threatened
But all this noise has choked my joys
Making the Voice inside seem deafened
I forgot what it was I was thinking
When your words invaded my space
Now whatever it was has slipped my mind
And I have completely lost my place
I know many people are fine with this
They accept the status quo
“Don’t question the narrative written for you
Because that’s the way it goes”
But for as long as I can remember
I’ve just been the way that I’m created
Seeing only the good in all I can
So that my soul is elevated
Of course at times I do get tempted
These illusions can be convincing
People weaving temporal spells
With the words that they are mincing
I start wondering if I’m too stubborn
Maybe I should play the role
Let the conformers off the hook
And do what I am told
Then suddenly it hits me
I have no right to disappear
Being me is all I can be
It’s the very reason why I’m here

For 28 Days

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For 28 days
More people pay attention
To stories less told
Or that hardly get mentioned
Some get repeated
Just as before
About bridges and buses
And who’s here no more
For 28 days
We acknowledge the challenge
That healing can’t happen
If we ignore the damage
And for 28 days
We try to do better
By telling ourselves
That we’re in this together
But on the 29th day
Or on a leap year it’s thirty
Some forget once again
And stop getting hands dirty
Then for 337 days
Their memories fade
Until a tragedy happens
And we go into rage
Then we’re back to day one
Wondering how did this happen
Repeating the stories
We’re perpetually trapped in

Belonging to Not Belonging

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They say “Get in where you fit in.”
But I can’t find my space.
Like looking in the mirror
But cannot recognize my face.

No one else can see me.
What should I expect?
An outsider can’t get in
I’m destined a reject.

Damn this hunger for belonging.
I’m never satisfied
Because of the idea, “I should be special.”
Now I see it was all a lie.

All heartbreaks come from beauty
Or longing for it to be
The presence of an absence
The soul was never meant to see

So now I’m coming out of hiding
I need to recognize my grief
Because I know me, but cannot show me,
I’m a product of disbelief.

© Copyright 2021 Pedro S. Silva II