Tag: Self Realization

When I’m In Poetry Mode

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I have many states of being

Most of them conditioned

Circumstantial ways I am

Depending on my position

If I’m on top I am a certain way

If on the bottom I’m another

Each one relative to what’s going on

Which determines how I’m covered

But when I am in poetry mode

I’m not circumstantially dependent

I enter into a different realm

Where I am consciously transcendent

There’s no thing as linearity

Removing the cause of the effect

For when life turns into poetry

All frames of reference intersect

At the point of their convergence

We find the poem’s entrance into time

Emerging out of no where

Thus impossible to confine

Always open to interpreting

It’s expression has no end

And as the author I am one with it

So who can say where I begin

Perhaps the poetry created me

To bring itself to form

Pre-existing my corporeal self

A possibility outside the norm

Now I’m not just a person being

But an event within creation

Composed of seen and unseen forces

Forming a poetic destination

I’m not encountered but attended

Participation is a must

If you ever want to know me

Before I turn back into dust

For when I’m not in poetry mode

I am a man devoid of being

Processes functioning mechanically

With eyes that have no seeing

Here to do until I’m done

Trying to get my tasks complete

My meaning and my function one

Until I’m considered obsolete

Then I am replaced

With a newer model off the shelf

That’s why a life without being poetry

Is like living without a self

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

One and Counting

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If All is One in the Beginning

Do all endings start with two?

From there leading to many

Countless “Me”s apart from you

In One there’s no division

Therefore nothing torn asunder

Yet in many we seem to forsake the Whole

And make idols out of numbers

Oh to live the Shema

“The Lord our God is One”

If this is true then what do we get

When all of our counting’s done

With our “adding up” obsessions

You’d think we’d find salvation

But all we seem to get from this

Is more miscalculations

All of our opinions

About the way we think things are

Like the six blind men and the elephant

So close but yet so far

We try to measure everything

In our attempts to get control

Not seeing that our metrics all fall short

Of the Undivided Whole

That’s why we’re so crazy

And mostly schizophrenic

Divided minds seeing many

In a world with only Oneness in it

So God please help my vision

To see only what is True

If You are One, then so are we

Since we live and move in You

© Copyright 2015 Pedro S. Silva II

The Energy Alternative

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Causeless Energy so unbound

Impossible to imagine

Setting free potentialities

That lesser sparks are trapped in

Invisible scaffolding holding in place

All that you think you see

Static beings cannot exist

In the realm of this Frequency

If I tell you of Its Power

You cannot exist

But it’s encoded on your DNA

On the third strand of every twist

It’s the Keys to the Kingdom

Out of Darkness comes the Light

Usurping clocks in a paradox

Making faith more True than sight

Borderless are Its dimensions

Containing all empty space

Its fingerprints are on everything

But It never leaves a trace

It is there in the Beginning

And here where it’s all gone

And will be as Heaven fades away

And Earth has long moved on

It undoes all of our knowings

Like shadows in the sun

And undivides all that we’ve split

By seeing all things One

How it pains me not to tell you

But some things cannot be said

For if I try to confine the Truth in these lines

It will turn into lies instead

Besides you already know this

It is evident when you are still

That’s why when prophets try to reveal this Word

They often wind up killed

You don’t want to face what you’re denying

After all it’s your creation

You think the only way to be your self

Is to exist in separation

But one day you’ll discover

That lies are never True

That the very thought of a you that’s less than One

Is a you that is never You

This is the only knowledge that is Power

The Source of energies unabating

The Life of life that knows not death

And keeps All perpetuating

Lamentations On Forgiveness

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You tell me to forgive them
But sometimes it’s so hard
To let go of some of the things that people do
You’d have to be a god

If I loved them and I healed them
And then they turned on me
It’d be better for them if I stayed dead
Because they’d never get away from me

I could not have your power
And deal with what you did
And yet I say I follow you
Who am I trying to kid?

That’s why I still need you to hold me
To keep me in your embrace
To lift me when I can’t lift myself
And shower me with your grace

The above poem pretty much sums up why I seek Christ.  Rather than being an original part of the book, it was actually written to accompany a sermon I did based on the words, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”  I’ve been meditating on those words for over 30 years. Ever since I realized that my brother and my fighting would never end as long as I kept hitting him back, I have been using those words as the kind of “true north” of my conscience and my consciousness.  Whenever I find myself agitated and incapable of saying those words, then I know I have some more work to do on myself.  Even though I hate the idea of a crucified savior of the world or even the fact that God’s world needs saving at all, I cannot deny my experience that people do great harm to one another and that most of it is cyclical. I’ve seen many hurt people hurt people.  Some people are so used to being hurt that they live in anticipation of it, often see it when it isn’t even there, and may even go so far as to push others to hurt them in order to confirm the only reality that they have ever known.  I know this first hand and in my experience the idea of Jesus saying, “I am no longer going to contribute to this cycle.” through his willingness to forgive has been the only thing to really work effectively in my own walk.

As the poem demonstrates, I still get stuck on some issues.  Especially since becoming a father, I have found that I need to ramp up my forgiveness practice more and more.  I do not anticipate getting to a point where I will no longer need to work on this, because new things show up everyday.  I am not just talking about things in my personal life.  I see it as my job to forgive anything that disturbs me–anything that agitates my soul and tempts me to look away from the world that Jesus saw where God loves those who do evil with the same love as those who do what we call good.  I should say that I am not delusional, thinking that the world is going to become some utopia where people will be singing happy songs and there will be no pain and yet I work toward it because I am certain that the alternative is less promising.  We already know what doesn’t work in this world.  And yet we still do it.  So the way I see it, is that forgiveness is the most viable option.

So as hard as it can seem sometimes, I am committed to the practice.  But I should say, that forgiveness doesn’t mean anything goes and that there are no efforts to correct those who harm.  In my practice, it simply means that people who do evil are ignorant.  I forgive their ignorance and clean myself from using my pain to justify my reactions.  If I do that then I am doing nothing other than justifying whatever harm they cause based on their pain.  It is a cycle.  So what I do instead is to seek forgiveness first.  Then out of that space, I will take the corrective actions that are in my power to perform.  Hopefully I am working out of inspiration so that I can trust that whatever I do is born of the love out of which the person/offender is created.  The hope is that what I offer helps wake the person up to their own inner reality.  If you’ve ever dealt with someone on drugs who is detoxing, you know that helping them can take a lot of forgiveness and that in order to keep them straight, you sometimes have to look like a real a**hole to get them to see the harm they are doing to themselves and others.  The whole point is that whatever you do is out of love and toward that persons healing.  Surgery could be another good analogy where you look to hurt someone when it is for their own good.  Forgiveness can often manifest like spiritual surgery. It starts by working on yourself which then prepares you to work for others. That’s how I work with Jesus.  I see him as the forgiveness master that undoes the cycle of pain perpetuating pain.  When I get hurt I turn to him.  It helps to draw me out of myself and toward that higher way of being that he offers.  No matter how much I feel sorry for myself sometimes for being the person taking responsibility for forgiveness in some situations, I know that it is the Way.  Ultimately it is all I have to offer.